Just for you... [YiZhan FF]✔️

Just for you... -13-

-13-

Even though Zhan smiled when Yibo confessed to him that he liked him very much, Zhan wondered how it could be when they had only known each other for a week. However, Zhan likes him too, even if he can't put it into words what kind of like it is.

When Yibo also turned off the bedside lamp and only lit a small night light, both their eyes kept falling shut repeatedly. Zhan quickly realized that nothing would happen tonight. Because for that the two of them were simply too tired and drunk. And so Zhan turned around for a moment, set his alarm clock to 5:30 am and then turned back to Yibo, who was already asleep.

And as Zhan looked at the sleeping Yibo, his heart fluttered, he wondered, how is it possible that he suddenly likes a man? How should he deal with this? What did that mean? Does he like men now? Or does he like men and women? Could he even be with a man? What would he tell his parents? They are already angry with him for his broken relationship. What would they say or do if Zhan told them that he likes a man?

He could not and should not disappoint his parents again. He always gave them headaches and worries. He should not do that again. It was a shame for his parents when he, as their only child, left home instead of staying with his parents and taking care of them.

Another shame was when he lived with a woman and they slept unmarried with each other. Things got even worse when his girlfriend broke up with him. His parents became the laughing stock of the neighbors, friends and relatives and all because of him. He couldn't now bring more anger on them by telling them that he might like a man.

At the same time, his heart ached when he thought that this meant he should not see Yibo again. Because at least he knew that he felt more for Yibo than he should. More than he was allowed to feel for a friend.

What he felt when they kissed surpassed anything he had ever felt before and he had never wanted anyone as much as Yibo. His own feelings betrayed him and suddenly made him feel something he never thought was possible. And that for a man of all people!

How could he just give up what feels so good? And even his brain plays tricks on him and even gave him a couple name, even though they are not a couple at all. The name "YiZhan" kept popping up in his mind. And whenever he thought of this name, he felt this incredible feeling of happiness and tingling in his belly. How can that be a bad thing?

Could he perhaps disappoint his parents one last time after all, but instead be happy with Yibo?

When Zhan was almost dizzy from all his thoughts, he sat up and wanted to get out of bed. But Yibo grabbed him in his sleep and murmured: "Please don't go. Don't leave me alone ZhanZhan." And Zhan just couldn't help but lie down again and keep staring at Yibo. He stroked Yibo on the cheek and at that moment wished for nothing more than a chance with him.

After Zhan finally fell asleep and was awakened by his alarm clock, he felt like he hadn't slept at all. He would have loved to lie down next to Yibo and simply enjoyed watching him sleep a little longer. But he did not have the time.

First, he had to prevent people from seeing him when he left Yibo's room and second, he had to go home, change and then go to work.

This time Yibo slept so soundly that he didn't notice Zhan crawling out of bed carefully, taking his clothes and putting them on in the bathroom. Silently, he sneaked out of the hotel room, looked around to make sure no one was there to see him, and then went to the stairwell. He left the hotel through the same door they came in through.

He walked down the street until he saw a couple of cabs standing there. He got into a cab, got a ride home and took a long shower first. Nevertheless, he felt that he was still slightly drunk and he had also been terribly tired.

And just as Zhan was about to make his way to the bus stop, his boss called him and explained that he could stay home today, since most of them, like his boss, had to spend the night in the hospital.

So Zhan undressed again, took his backpack and was about to unpack it when he noticed the two envelopes. Those envelopes filled with money he had received yesterday. He had been curious yesterday how much money he had actually received, but he didn't want to count it in front of Yibo. But he counted it now and was stunned.

He counted the money twice and both times the result remained the same. In just one day he had earned as much money as he normally earned in two months of hard work. "I'm definitely in the wrong business." Zhan muttered as he put the money into his little safe.

Tired, Zhan went into his bedroom, lay down on his bed and closed his eyes. When he opened them again, he thought only a few seconds had passed. But in fact, he had slept more than seven hours. His head hurt and when he looked at his cell phone, he found some messages from Yibo.

"Why did you leave without saying goodbye?"

"Are you alright?"

"Do you regret we kissed after all?"

"Why won't you answer me?

"Do you no longer want to see me, now that you know I like you?"

"Please answer me at least."

Zhan read the messages a second time, then decided not to write back. Instead, he dialed Yibo's number to call him When Yibo answered the phone after the second dial tone, Zhan said, "Sorry for not getting back to you before now, I was asleep until just now. I left without saying goodbye because you were fast asleep and it was still very early and I wanted to let you sleep. I feel fine, apart from the headache. I don't regret that we kissed and I don't want to break off contact with you because you told me you liked me."

Yibo then said: "I am relieved to hear that and I am happy that you even call me to tell me that. But unfortunately I'm in the middle of an appointment and can't talk right now. Is it okay for you if I call you later and we talk then?"

"Yeah, sure, no problem." Said Zhan and wished Yibo a successful day.

Being choked on the cell phone didn't feel good, but Zhan understood why Yibo couldn't talk right now. And it now gave him the opportunity to think again about how things should continue between him and Yibo.

A relationship is probably out of the question. After all, Yibo is an idol and always on the road, so he has no time for a relationship. And there are even a few months left until December. Time in which Yibo will travel through the country, while Zhan is here in Beijing and they can't see each other. On top of that comes the problem with Zhan's parents, who will certainly not approve of a relationship between their only child and another man.

But what does that mean for them both? For them and the feelings they have for each other? Do they just have to put their feelings aside and give up on each other before it starts? Should they perhaps never see each other again after Yibo's concert and never speak to each other again and pretend that nothing ever happened?

And more importantly, could Zhan even imagine a relationship with Yibo? After all, Yibo is a man, just like Zhan, and Zhan has never been with a man before. Was Yibo with one or even more men before him? Maybe he is not interested in a relationship with Zhan at all and Zhan thinks about it for nothing?

To distract himself from all these questions and also to get around the time until Yibo's call back, Zhan decided to finally bring his car to the garage. Or, should he perhaps look for a new used car? After all, with the money he received yesterday, he had saved enough money for a new car and would not have to have his car repaired for the ninth time.

Besides, there is a car dealer near his home who has a car that Zhan loved for a long time. And because he already has the money and doesn't have to make an installment purchase, he could even take the car with him immediately. The car dealer would even do the on- and off-registrations and Zhan would then only have to inform his insurance company.

He took the money out of his safe, counted it three times, took the amount for the used car away and counted what was left three more times. Then he put the money for the car into an envelope and the rest back into the safe. He waited another half hour and then decided, he'll get the car and just treat himself once.