Who?

Chapter 4: Today

The wedding march began to resonate in the church in all its splendour as the main door of the church opened. A slight hubbub was heard as Erwin and I's friends, family and relatives stood up to great the bride.

- Which meant me -

Accompanied by my father, we started to go up the central aisle while everybody was staring at me, expectantly. Happily. Enthusiastically. With smiles as huge as the moon. Whispering and giggling some 'I have seen her!' 'There she is' 'Such a beautiful dress!'

Two young photographers were taking photos as the organ, in all its power, continued to play the wedding march, filling the church with the life and love of what a wedding was supposed to be. I could have admired how breathtaking Amsterdam St Nicolas's basilic was. The afternoon sun made the colourful stained-glass windows of the choir sparkle, enhancing the beauty of their representations: nativity, crucifixion and Last Supper wile the highness of the dome provided the whole basilic with a solemn and pure atmosphere, helping to elevate the souls.

But today I could not admire the place, no matter how I enjoyed its architecture, paintings and play of lights as my visual field was reducing and my pace accelerating. All I could look at was the altar, in the choir, standing on its only one leg: my destination. Next to it, the guy was standing, looking at me, with no smile on his face. As soon as I noticed it, I felt the urge to walk a little faster, no longer caring to respect the pace of the march. But my father's arm, my high heel shoes and my too big dress did not really allow me to accelerate as much as I would have liked to. Who had invented such big and heavy dresses? This was annoying me.

The laugh of the crowd informed me that, maybe, my internal thoughts were not as private as I thought they were... And Erwin, as the altar grew bigger, looked at me with questioning eyes, still not completely smiling. I heard Emmanuelle who seemed to struggle with my young cousins not to fold my white train when I finally reached the end of the aisle, taking a breather.

Not thinking about anything, I automatically flashed a huge smile of relief to Erwin who was still standing in front of me, looking very appealing. (I had the right to admire my husband to be, right? Even though I could not remember him). His navy blue tailcoat definitely fitted him and I felt -or hoped?- that we would be good together. Erwin finally brightly smiled, happiness reaching his eyes and the ceremony started.

We sang, listened to the lectures and the priest, vowed to be faithful to the other, to love and cherish him / her in adversity, sickness, poverty... We exchanged rings, kiss. Sing. And signed the official documents after finally walking out of the massive St-Nicholas' basilic, accompanied by the organ music, under a rain of rice and tulip petals to get in our 'just married car'. Once Erwin started the motor, while the crowd was still cheering, silence wrapped ourselves as I realised that this wedding had finally happened. 

For real.

The guy smiled to me, which made me smile before he looked back at the road. Him and I unable to hold a conversation was new but neither was it disturbing, at least this is what I thought. With my huge dress, I struggled to get my phone that my brother had been kind enough to let in the glove box once I had started to panic because I had no pockets in my dress. Yeah, I know, I am weird. But where does all the brides keep their phone on their wedding day? As if, nowadays brides did not post a picture of themselves with their husband on Instagram! Really, wedding dress designer had no common sense. As I was pestering internally, I finally manage to keep as much dress as possible in one of my hand to open the gloves box. There I was!