Who?

Chapter 11: Bumpy

I was drinking my tea while Doctor Klomberg looked at me, half-hidden behind the heat that had invaded his glasses.

'So, I was wondering Eva, you introduced yourself as Eva Janssen to Jaap, my assistant...I am very sorry but I had not entered you in my agenda under this name, hence your little dispute...'

Not really getting his point and not really getting where he wanted to go with this conversation I stopped talking. Seeing my lost eyes, Doctor Klomberg continued.

'You see, I am a rather old man Eva. I had forgotten that in our very modern and evolved world, women are no longer changing their name when they get married. I had included you in my agenda with another name.'

Understanding finally crossed my mind: there is where he wanted to go. He wanted to know where he was. Feeling a little trapped by the conversation, my heart squeezed. 'Oh' was the only sound that escaped my lips.

As seconds passed, Doctor Klomberg did not break the heavy silence that had suddenly filled the atmosphere. While my heart was running a marathon of its own, I wondered whether I should just leave the tea shop or try to sound healthy. While hesitation, stress and doubts invaded me, I felt like sinking in the ocean of darkness that I had tried my best to avoid since my waking up. But before I could touch the poisonous water, Doctor Klomberg's hand hold mine and his patient and caring eyes dived into mine. His look was a barque in which I felt like climbing. Once inside, for the first time since my waking up, tears stormed out of my eyes while the truth finally escaped my lips.

'He refuses to talk to me. He said I am no longer who I used to be.'

Doctor Klomberg clumsily pated my shoulder with a concerned face, waiting for the flow of my tears to slow down. After three minutes of silence, he finally stopped and asked softly

'Do you think you are no longer the person you used to be?'

I thought about this for a few seconds and decided to be finally and fully honest.

'I don't know Doctor. I can remember almost everything except him. If something is related with him, I cannot remember it. My head is a colander. Who I am remains a mystery.'

'Eva'. It was Doctor Klomberg's turn to be out of words as both surprise and deep concern painted his face. 'Why? Why didn't you tell me?'

Guilt rushed to my face who could no longer hold Doctor Klomberg's gaze. 'I may not have mentioned it earlier.'

Doctor Klomberg seemed really sad but he kept a professional behaviour and repeated his question. 'Why?'

No longer sure to know my reasons, I looked into my memories and tried my best to be honest.

'I may have thought or hoped that everything will come back as it used to be. You know, with a bit of time. But it appeared that it did not come back.'

'What about the rest of your memories Eva? Do you still have access to some new memories since you woke up or have your memories stopped coming back?'

I thought about the question before answering 'A few things came back. I discovered a few days ago that I still remember my laptop's password. But these are very small things, small details, nothing major'.

Worried I suddenly sought for support in his gaze but I could not read anything in his very professional aura. Doctor Klomberg was comfortably standing in his seat as if he was talking about the weather.

'Do you remember what happened before your blacked-out last week?'

My head only nodded to say 'no'.

'What were you doing on that day?'