somethin' stupid

britney/ brittany 2x02

AFTER BEING HOME FOR A WEEK I'M FINALLY BACK TO SCHOOL

"she literally gave you a concussion?" Santana asks me as she sits in between Brittany and I

I nod, "yup" I point to my nose "and I have this stupid bruise to show for it"

"I like purple. I think it goes nice with your personality." Brittany tells me, earning a glare from Santana

Mr. Schue continues to write something on the board, so the three of us keep talking

"I just can't believe she didn't get suspended or anything" Santana mutters "Honestly, I wish she did. Because if I do something, then I get in trouble, but not little Ms. Perfect"

"That girl is far from perfect, trust me" I say and Mr. Schuester starts the class

He turns away from the whiteboard, capping his black dry erase marker in his hand "Alright, who can tell me who Christopher Cross is?"

Brittany raises her hand confidently "he discovered America" she says seriously

"honey, no" I say to the blonde, patting her on her shoulder

"close, but no" Mr. Schue says "he did however write an iconic chart topper 'Sailing'"

"yeah, why are we learning about him again?" I ask rhetorically

"now some people think of the term 'easy listening' as a bad thing. But I'm going to let this music speak for itself" Mr. Schue continues his lecture "You guys love Lady Gaga, The Rolling Stones and you guys are really good about putting it all out there. But good music can also be controlled and restrained. It doesn't have to attack an audience, it can let them come to you"

Finn looks at the sheet music with a confused look on his face "How can you get stuck between the moon and New York City? They're like a hundred miles apart"

"sounds like someone needs a geography lesson more than a music lesson" I whisper to Santana

"Mr. Schue, If I may?" Kurt speaks up "I think I speak for all of us when I say it's not that we don't love the idea of spending a week on this silky smooth adult contemporary. It's just that as teens, this isn't the easiest music for us to relate to" He says truthfully "however, there is a burgeoning Facebook campaign that has swelled to over five members. The ardent demand; that this week at the homecoming assembly, the McKinley High School Glee Club performs a number by, wait for it...Ms. Britney Spears"

"Yo Spears is fierce yo" Artie says

I raise my hand "As a member of this Facebook campaign, I have to agree with Kurt." I say "we can relate to Britney more than Christopher Columbus, she's been part of our lives for like, ever."

"she's the reason why I wanted to become a performer" Tina says

Mr. Schuester looks at the club with a hint of disappointment "Sorry Kurt, I just don't think she's a very good role model"

"we grew up with her" Rachel adds

"I don't want to do Britney" I hear a familiar voice choke out

"why no Britney Brittany?" Kurt asks

Brittany takes a deep breath in "because my name is also Britney Spears."

"what the hell is she talking about" Mercedes whispers

The blonde cheerio continues "my middle name is Susan, my last name is Pierce. So that makes me Brittany S. Pierce. Brittany Spierce" She reveals "I have lived my entire life living in Britney Spears' shadow, knowing that I'll never be as talented or famous. I hope that you'll all respect that I want glee club to remain a place where I Brittany S Pierce can escape the torment of Britney Spears"