The Boy Movie Brahms Heelshire x reader FanFic

Remember - Part 68

You discover Jamie and Sean are more like their father that you thought.  Each of them seems to be the sum of all his parts.   Jamie is strong, both physically and mentally.   His green eyes watch and record all around him,  assessing, processing - the gears of his mind working like steel wheels.  Sean is stoic and imaginative,  the quieter of the two but no less resilient.   Separately they are islands of fortitude; united they are a world of fearlessness like their father.  Both are tall for their age with dark curling hair.   As you watch them play on the Heelshire mansion's lawns, you marvel at who and what they'll become as they move from boys to men.   

You glance across at Brahms.   His eyes flicker this way and that as he watches the children, a slight smile on his lips.   You can see he's fascinated, and proud too.   You lean across the garden table between you and grip his hand.  He squeezes back.

"We have to think about schooling.   They have to have as normal an upbringing as we can give them."

Brahms says nothing.

"I don't want them home schooled, Brahms.  They need to interact with other children."

Slowly, he looks at across at you, then nods.  

"There's a good school ten miles from here.   Brahms?"

"There's no need to worry, Y/N.   I'm not my mother."

"I didn't mean that!"

"Do you think they're bothered by the way I look?"

"Of course not!   They have too much of me in them."

He smiles then and his face lights up.    He has the most beautiful smile and you so want him to smile all the smiles he never could for too many years.  Deep down you know he's going to be a good father.   You take his hand again then bend to kiss his fingers.   He strokes your face.   The sun shines into midday as the ice melts in your elderberry lemonades.   

"Did you ever  believe I'd return?"  You ask him.

"No."

"Oh, Brahms, I'm sorry.   You have no idea how much I hurt myself too."

"It's gone.  Done."

You nod.  It's not Brahms's way to linger on past hurts or regrets.   He lives more in the here and now, something you suspect has kept him alive and sane in all the madness of his childhood.   

 "We've come a long way, haven't we, since you first chased me through the house and scared me half to death?  You had that metal bar and I thought..."

"It was a harpoon."  He glances at you again, this time with that look that penetrates right through the bullshit.   "Did you really believe I was going to kill you?"

"I was frightened, but..."   

"But you knew, didn't you?"

Reluctantly, you nod.  "Yes, I knew you wouldn't kill me."

"How did you know?"

"I don't know.  I just did."

"Shall I tell you how you knew?"

Even after all this time, Brahms still has the power to make you squirm.    It's hard enough  to admit to yourself, never mind him, that a rampaging madman in a mask had the power to create a hormonal shit storm in your pants when you should have been prostrate with terror!  Trying to be all nonchalant you shrug, "Women's intuition."

"Women's intuition?" he repeats  He gazes across the lawns where the boys are chasing butterflies in the wild flowers.   "You put up  a good fight, I'll give you that."

"You put me in a headlock, you bastard.  I thought I was going to choke!"

"I didn't know any other way to make you stay.   Anyway...you got your own back with the crystal vase."

"Shit, I forgot about that."

Brahms rubs the side of his head.  "I haven't!"

You give a wry chuckle.  "What a pair we are."

He gazes at you with those lovely mismatched eyes.  "And that's the reason you knew I'd never hurt you.    You felt me all along...in the same way I felt you."

You stare down at your hands and nod.   "It's crazy."

"It's wonderful," he says softly.   "I wanted  you so badly from the first moment I heard your voice through the walls and felt your energy.  Before I even saw you.   I knew I'd die if I couldn't have you."

"And I wanted you too...I just didn't know it.    That night you blindfolded me and kissed me?   That was the moment I knew I was yours."

"Now she tells me!"

You raise both brows. "You mean you didn't feel it?"

"I watched you wanting me, yes.   The way you reacted that night.  The storm scared you.  I could have taken you but it didn't feel right.  So I didn't." 

"I'm glad you didn't.  I'm glad you gave me choices."

"You always had choices, Y/N." 

"Some I regret.   We've killed people."

"People who tried to hurt us.  You know I won't let that  happen.  And I don't think you will either.   Not anymore."

You get up and straddle Brahms's lap as he locks his arms around your waist.    In the bright sunlight his eyes are the colour of peridot.  "What are the boys doing?"   

He peers over your shoulder.  "Running around doing kid things." 

You kiss him, loving the taste of him, the smell of him, the feel of him.   You run your fingers through his hair as he gazes up at you.   "Thank God you caught me  and didn't let me go.    Thank God for blindfolds, and masks, and your sweet, terrible love."  

"Is that how you see me?"

You smile down at him.   "Sometimes.   You're so many things to me, in so many ways.   But always and forever,  you are my Brahms."

"Amen," he says softly.