HIRAETH - OBEY ME

BELPHEGOR - ONE SHOT

YOU ARE SPECIAL AND WORTHY

a vulnerable belphegor's pov

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HE ALWAYS THOUGHT that he was a useless and pathetic younger brother. Nothing but a nuisance to his older siblings. Even if the fact that he's Beelzebub's twin just made him feel smaller about himself; he was always the odd one.

He tried to see the light, to see their support and encouragement. But the drowning feeling made him unable to believe anything, to feel, and to accept that things are just meant to happen this way.

Belphegor's tired purple eyes found its way to the dining table where everyone sat and ate with a chorus of laughter following from time to time. He had slept late and Beelzebub didn't bother to wake him up, must be because he wanted his younger twin to rest more.

The image of seeing everyone he loved and cared for was an endearing sight for him, it made his heart swell in joy and just for once --- the pain and guilt he felt was being pulled away.

Not until the anchor of sadness suddenly sucked him under the chaotic emotions of the ocean. It wasn't peaceful there, Belphegor hated being alone at the bottom of the sea. It was cold, dark, and still. Sometimes the silence made him insane. 

He wanted love, deep down, he does. But the memories that comes back to him like waves made him think about it more; making him feel like he wasn't worthy of it. Like it would be a huge waste to give it to him. 

Belphegor sat down on his seat and ate slowly, the bitter taste of the food made him wince slightly. Even his favorite food felt bad. Has it gone to worst?

"Belphie," you called out in a hushed voice, your worried eyes scanned the look on his face making him fear about showing his emotions, being vulnerable never sounded so good to him so he always wanted to hide the unwanted and pathetic feelings he often feels.

His lips quivered, being caught off-guard wasn't a good thing. But the sight of you in front of him made everything he feared of come back to him. 

Your brows furrowed in concern, "What's wrong?"

It was your voice that was laced with worry that made him weak in his knees. It was your squinted eyes that showed love that made him want to run away. 

It was all too familiar and it hurts him so much, to be reminded of someone he was supposed to save, to take care of yet failed. The pain that was lingering in his heart starts to rise up from the surface, making his soul get pulled back to the sea of thoughts that could drown him.

But never kill him.

The guilt he felt was now replaced with anger, the rage he felt was so overwhelming that all he could do was leave the table. His chair dropped on the floor with some of the utensils making a clanging sound, a plate has broke and he watched you pick up the pieces.

"Ouch." you hissed lowly as blood dripped from your skin and to the carpeted floor; soiling the once clean carpet as it mixed with your blood. Belphegor froze, as if all his functions all stopped working at once when he saw you get hurt.

Since he was the youngest, he was always the one being taken care of. Not until Lilith was there. Lilith was his precious younger sister, someone he could take care of, where he had a sense of responsibility. But now that she's gone, it felt like his purpose in life was also gone as well.