The Girl Who Believed

Confused

Athena's POV

The next day I didn't go to breakfast. It would be so awkward and I don't know how I will face him. We have most classes together and are potions partners. I didn't tell the girls yet. I pretended to sleep in and said that I will take a snack on my way to class. They looked at me weird but didn't say anything and I was thankful for that. 

Throughout the day, I avoided him. I would arrive at class last minute to not give him or any of the boys a chance to talk to me. Thankfully, in potions class we had theory and we didn't brew anything, so I pretended to concentrate on taking notes and ignored his staring and his attempts to talk. During lunch and dinner, I would go to the kitchen to grab something quick and go to the library or back to the dorms. 

Although I was avoiding him, I couldn't avoid the rumors. People kept giving me weird looks and I keep hearing Theo's and Black's names coming up. I didn't want to tune in and listen because I'm pretty sure I won't like what I will hear.

By the end of the day, the girls caught on that something wasn't right. We all got ready for bed and I thought that they won't ask anything, but, unfortunately, they asked.

"What's wrong? You have been avoiding everyone today," Lily started, as she sat next to me on my bed.

"I wasn't avoiding everyone," I said. Well, it's true, I wasn't avoiding everyone. Only one person.

"Cut the crap, Athena, and tell us what's wrong," Angie said, sitting on my other side, "You never skip meals and you never coop yourself in here after classes."

"Is it because of Theo?" Caroline asked, sitting in front of me in the middle of the bed.

"Kind of. I just can't believe that he would allow such rumors to go around knowing fully well that none of them are true," I said.

"None of us saw it coming. He seemed so sweet. He's a Hufflepuff for Godric's sake!" Angie said.

"Don't listen to them, Ay. Those who actually know you, know that they're not true," Lily said.

"I know," I said. I was contemplating weather I should tell them about the kiss with Black or not. Lily will freak out, Angie will be pissed, and Caroline will be a bit calm. 

"There is something else, right?" Lily asked.

I sighed. I didn't know how to say it.

"Just spit it out," Angie rolled her eyes.

"IkissedBlack," I said quickly.

"I will rephrase," Angie said, "say it slowly."

"I kissed Black," I said and shut my eyes tight waiting for all hell to break loose.

"I'm sorry, I think we misheard you.  What did you say?" Lily asked. I sighed.

"Yesterday, I couldn't sleep so I went to the common room and I was reading the letter that the admirer wrote me. Black came down and we talked a bit. Next thing I know, we were kissing," I said, not looking at any of them.

"That's why you were hiding all day, and that's why Black was freaking out and kept asking about you," Caroline said and I nodded. "I don't know what to say."

"How about, what the bloody hell were you thinking, Athena!" yelled Lily. I knew this was coming. "You do realize what you did, right?"

"I do," I groaned.

"Did you at least slap him after that?" Angie asked.

"What? No, why would I do that?" I asked, "He didn't force me and I kissed back."

"Then what did you do after you kissed?" she asked.

"Nothing," I replied.

"Nothing?" Caroline asked.

"I ran up to the dorms once we broke the kiss," I said throwing myself back and covering my face with a pillow.

There was silence for a while.

"What are you going to do now?" Caroline asked.

"SHE won't do anything. I, however, will hex him to his sixties," Lily said.

"You do that after I kick his ass muggle-style," Angie said.

"You two will do no such thing. This is up to Athena," Caroline said calmly. I knew she will be the calm one. 

"I don't know what to do, but certainly not hex him and kick his ass," I said, "As I said, he didn't force me. I need time to think."

"Think about what exactly?" Lily asked.

"About the whole thing. I can't avoid him forever, and I have the admirer to deal with," I said.

We sat in silence for a few minutes.

"Athena, do you still have feelings for him?" It was Caroline who broke the silence, making me freeze for a second.

"You don't, right?" Lily asked. I was quiet for a few seconds before answering.

"It doesn't matter," I sighed. It's true. It doesn't matter how I feel because even I don't know how I feel. Even if I had feelings for him, it doesn't matter, because I'm not going the same mistake twice. I won't trust him with my heart. I may have forgiven him, but I haven't forgotten. It's a lesson learned and I would be a fool to repeat the same mistake.

"What do you mean, it doesn't matter? So you do have feelings for him?" Lily asked.

"I'm not sure, Lily," I said exhasepperated, "What I do know, is that even if I do have feelings for him, that door is closed. It doesn't matter if I do, I won't trust him with my heart."

"I thought you've forgiven him," said Caroline.

"I did, but that doesn't mean that I've forgotten. I won't repeat the same mistake," I told her.

She sighed.

"So what will you do now?" Angie asked.

"I don't know. I will avoid him until I'm ready to talk to him," I said.

There was silence for a while.

Suddenly there was a sound of knocking on the window. We all turned to look and saw an owl with a piece of parchment and a flower.

I got up and opened the window and took the parchment and the, what turned out to be, a bunch of daisies wrapped with a dark red ribbon. I smiled when I saw that. Each time he sends daisies he adds one more

I opened the letter and read one sentence that made me smile even more.

I missed your smile today.

I smiled and held the daisies up to my nose and smelled them.

"What does it say?" asked Lily.

I smiled and held it close to my heart.

"That he missed my smile today," I said with a smile.

"I guess you should walk around smiling tomorrow, so he could see it and be put out of his misery," Angie said and chuckled.

"Oh shush," I said, "Now let's go to sleep. Tomorrow one of you will go early to breakfast and get me food. I'm not going to be anywhere where he could easily talk to me."

"Oh come on, Ay," said Angie, "You could just ignore him."

I rolled my eyes. "That's Black we're talking about. He won't take the hint and will keep pestering me and stare at me. He did enough of that in potions today."

"Alright alright, good night then," Angie said.

They all went to their respective beds and turned off the lights. I followed suit and after hours, I finally fell asleep thinking of certain lips on mine.