Stay

VI. [ M ]

-ROSE-

The lampposts illuminated the streets as I wander aimlessly with wobbly legs, I cussed against my breath, dragging my four inched heels as the cold air embraced me through the thin fabric of my long gown.

It was half past ten, I've been walking for the last half an hour and to my surprise, the streets were almost empty. I heaved a deep breath and stopped to sit on a bench near the children's playground, removing my heels and massaging my aching feet as I stare at the dark sky.

"No stars, no moon. Not even clouds." I lowly chuckled.

The sky was indeed very dark, the kind of darkness that makes you admire it and get lost in. Calm and peaceful.

"What are you doing with your life Roseanne?" I whispered-asked to myself and found my gaze dropping to the ground.

"This was not the life I was expecting seven years ago." I smiled bitterly.

I indeed got everything messed up, but not one.

And I'm afraid that I'm about to mess up that remaining good thing in my life if I continue being this kind of person.

An asshole.

A stupid bitch.

If I were to be told that I would become this Roseanne five years ago, I would probably laughed out loud while waiving my hand. I would definitely find it very amusing because I know it will never come true.

But here I am... Wandering the empty streets of Alamo on a Friday night. Everyone was perhaps at home or on their way home at least, but here I am, looking like a beggar with fancy clothes, tearing up at the fucked up life I've barely managed to live.

Is this really the best that I can do?

I stopped thinking further and slip into my heels, the last thing that I wanted is to pity myself. I've already got that from the people around me, I think that's more than enough.

Dragging my feet to walk back again, I sighed and looked around, admiring the quiet night, and for the first time after a long time, I think that's what I truly needed. To be alone.

Walking tirelessly, wondering, being alone.

I was walking and walking and walking for the next two hours, not wanting to go home yet. Unknowingly, my feet led me to a modern one story house, painted in black and white. It was not big, nor grand, but it was somehow spacious, with a two-car garage. Nothing fancy, but it felt cozy.

Home.

A tear dropped from my eye at the sudden realization that hit me...

No matter how you wander for too long, whether you got lost along the way and never been found, you will always find your way back home.

Back home.

Back to you.

Jennie.

I walked towards the front door and turned the doorknob, surprise upon seeing it unlocked. I glanced my phone and it was midnight and yet our front door was not locked.

A flash of panic made me quickly lock the door and scurry to our room. My heart was pounding so hard, afraid that something bad had happened, and I saw her... my lovely wife, still in her gown, all tucked in and sleeping peacefully.

I clutched my chest, leaning my back and head against the wall, sliding my body down the floor, and trying my best to calm myself.

I smiled, I found myself smiling genuinely after a long time.