The Ways in Which I Die (COMPLETED)

CHAPTER 25: "I PROMISE YOU"

ANTHONY

“How many days until you and your girlfriend move?” Dr. Cha asks as Anthony takes a few wobbly steps toward her.

“Don’t distract me. I’m concentrating,” Anthony grunts, keeping his eyes trained on his feet. One foot in front of the other, just one at a time, that’s all he has to do. One step at a time.

“Did you used to concentrate this much on moving your legs?” Cha asks.

“No, but it’s different now,” Anthony hisses and almost falls down but manages to steady himself. Walking used to be easy, barely even something that required concentration.

“Then a little distraction should be necessary. It’ll help your brain not need to be using its full focus on moving your legs.”

“It’s just… difficult,” Anthony says, returning his focus to his shaking legs. One step at a time.

“So, what’s the time frame?”

“We leave in a week,” he says and manages another shaky step forward, he’s almost to his wheelchair.

“Remember to try and let yourself relax. Walking is a relaxing thing.”

“I’m trying,” he whines as he takes his last step before letting himself flop down on the wheelchair.

“You said it’s by a lake right?” Cha asks.

“Yeah,” Anthony says with a pant. 

“I have a few aquatic exercises I can give you to do on warm days,” Cha says. “They’re nice and easy but excellent for getting used to moving again. It’ll be similar to the stuff we do here, just a little less demanding.”

“Whatever you say doc,” Anthony says with a sigh and leans his head back. Aquatic leg days are infinitely better than dry land leg days. It’s infinitely easier to fall into a movement pattern in the water than it is on land. Sadly he can’t swim everywhere.

“You’ll be on your feet in no time,” Cha says kindly. “You’re already getting better faster than expected.”

“When I get to the cane stage can I get a sword cane?” Anthony asks, half joking. A sword cane would be cool.

“You can get whatever kind of cane you want,” Cha replies giving him a pat on the shoulder. “For now it’s probably best that you stick with the wheelchair though.”

 “I know that,” Anthony says and tries to hide the agitation in his voice. The wheelchair had been for about a day and a half. Now he hates it. It restricts pretty much everything he does, it even makes going to the bathroom a whole lot more work than it should be. He wants to be on his feet again.

~~~~~

SUMMER

Summer can feel Anthony flinch next to her on the couch as someone out in the hallway drops something making a loud bang. 

“Easy,” she says quietly wraps herself around him in a warm hug before pulling the couch blanket over them. “It was just someone dropping something.”

“I know,” Anthony says with a sigh and leans his head against her chest. “It just startled me.”

Everything startles him since he’d woken up from the dream that had so cruelly reminded him exactly what had happened when he got shot. He’d even dropped a book once and startled himself, car horns have the same effect, and action movies are completely out of the question. A door slams somewhere across the hall of the apartment building and Anthony lets out a quiet sound of protest before nestling closer to Summer. She can feel his body shaking against hers.

“Sam, I feel like I need a drink,” Anthony whispers, terror creeping into her voice.

Summer sighs, she can’t blame him for wanting to crack, she couldn’t even blame him if he did crack. He’s been through hell and back a few too many times. She decides if he does relapse, she won’t be mad at him.

“It’ll be okay Anthony,” Summer replies and gently massages the back of his neck. “I know it’s hard, and I know this hurts-”

“It’s scary,” Anthony interrupts. “I hear something remotely loud and I think I’m going to die, Summer. I literally have to tell myself I’m okay and that no one shot me again. Everything is dialed to eleven and I just need something to help me relax.”

“You know alcohol isn’t going to do that,” Summer replies quietly.

“It might,” Anthony chokes.

“But in the long run?”

Anthony looks away from her. “I guess, you were right about the whole remembering thing, you're probably right about this too.”

“Anthony, remember when I said I'm with you every step of the way with this? I meant it,” Summer says reassuringly. "We'll get you through this."

"I hope so, Sam," Anthony says weakly. "I don't want to go back... I just- I need to relax."

"Then relax," Summer says sliding her hands up his cheeks until they're running through the tufts of hair starting to grow back in on his head. She can feel his scars under her fingers, but he doesn't flinch at the touch. "I promise you everything will be okay, Anthony." She draws his head close to her so it's resting against her chest once more. "Relax sweetie. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere."

The tension in Anthony's body relaxes ever so slightly as he leans in closer to her. He only has to make a little while longer.