Sleeping With My Bandmate

Day 35

Kyungsoo

Maybe it was just me, but time seems to pass slowly when you're sad. But between all of the training and debut preparations, I guess I didn't feel it that much. It was mostly at night when the sense of time hit me. I shared a room with one of my favorite people in the world, but I still felt lonely as hell. Maybe it was the loneliness that made me so aware of the seconds.

Eventually, though, after a few more months, we finally debuted. I honestly didn't know what to expect from it. I hoped at least some people would like us, but I tried to not focus on hopes like that. If I hoped for too much, nothing would come of my hopes besides disappointment. But we were received relatively well, though, not as much as the company would have liked us to have been. Still, it felt like I was in the middle of a dream but completely aware of everything that was happening. My dreams were coming true one by one. Well, all except for one. And I was the one who was stupid enough to keep hoping that would change one day.

After our fourth--or was it fifth?--music show recording, all the members went out to get something to eat. I was so exhausted, though, that I decided to stay behind and catch up on some sleep.

"Are you sure you don't want to come with us, Kyungsoo?" Minseok asked as I got out of the van.

I turned around. "Yeah," I said as a nodded, smiling faintly. "I'm really tired, so I'm probably gonna go to bed anyway."

"Alright," he said. "Just stay out of trouble."

"I'll try," I said after having chuckled.

"You sure you don't want me to stay with you?" Baekhyun asked me next. "I'm sure it can get lonely in there by yourself."

"Yeah, I'll be fine," I said, crossing my arms over my chest. It wasn't like I wasn't used to being lonely. He let out a brief gust of air and nodded his head.

"Listen, don't worry too much about Kai," he said, now speaking in a more quiet tone of voice. "This is a tough time for him too, going from being normal to famous. Just give him some space for now and I know he'll come around."

I sighed, feeling my face fall a little at the mention of him. "Yeah," was all I managed to get out as I tried to plaster a smile on.

"Just be patient. He'd be stupid to let you go," he said, putting a hand on my shoulder and flashing me a comforting smile. 

I chuckled and nodded once more, and then he got in the car before it started up. I waved bye and headed back to the dorm, about ready to pass out in my bed. But before I did that, I cleaned up a little in the shower. I sighed tiredly when my body hit the mattress, bringing the blankets up close to my chest for extra warmth.

I had always thought I was a patient person. But in my life so far, I didn't have much to wait for, so now that I did I was lost. I didn't know what to do with all the things I was feeling, where to put them or how to organize them. It was all one big mess. 

The truth was that when it came to Kai, I had no patience. I longed for him. I longed for his touch. I longed to see him smile at me once more. I longed to feel his lips press against mine. I longed to be embraced by his warm and strong arms. I longed for him, for everything that came with him, for everything that was him. 

I wondered if he ever missed me, too.

Jongin

My alarm clock screamed at me in the morning and almost gave me a heart attack as a result. I felt around for my phone on my nightstand and turned off the alarm before dragging my hands down my face. Upon sitting up and stretching out my arms, I looked over at Kyungsoo, who was still sleeping in his bed. I missed waking up beside him. No matter what I had going on that day, seeing him wake up and smile at me was always the highlight of my day. I sighed, realizing that I might not ever get to see such a beautiful sight ever again.

Once I pulled myself out of bed, I went in the bathroom and further woke myself up with a quick shower. By the time I finished in the there and got dressed, the other members were already up and about.

"Good morning," Joonmhyun said from the kitchen as I plopped in a seat at the table.

"Good morning," I mumbled from under my hands, yawning right after.

"Hyung, why are you cooking?" Sehun asked Joonmyun as he suddenly appeared.

"Kyungsoo is still asleep and I don't want to hear you all complain about how hungry you are," he explained. "Speaking of him," he added, turning around slightly. "Would you mind waking him up, Jongin? We're going to have to leave soon."

"Why do I have to do it?" I asked, lifting my head off the table swiftly.

"Because you're right here and besides, you two share a room anyway," he said. I just kept looking at him until he returned my look. "What's with that face? Do you hate him or something?"

"No," I said with a sigh, clenching my jaw.

"Then go," he said. "It'll only take like one minute, I'm sure." I sighed again, except heavier this time, and stood up. "Thank you," he cooed as I started back down the hall. I opened the door carefully and instantly saw his small body curled up under the covers. I had to pull my eyes away before I did or said something stupid.

"Kyungsoo," I said somewhat quietly, stopping in front of his motionless face. There was no response, so I repeated myself, this time shaking his arm a little."Kyungsoo, wake up." He groaned a sleepy groan and turned so he was now on his back before rubbing his eyes open. He flinched a little when he looked at me and our eyes locked on each other for a few seconds until I looked away. "Get up. We have to leave soon," I said with a quick sigh before I headed back towards the door. I didn't bother staying to hear his reply.

It's all for him, I reminded myself.