Sleeping With My Bandmate

Day 147

Kyungsoo

By the time we had made our comeback and started the busy promotion period, I started to notice even more changes in Jongin's behavior. He became more reserved than he normally was, not just in terms of his personality but also with our relationship. He usually didn't have a problem showing me some affection in front of the members, but he wasn't even really doing that anymore. It's not like he stopped showing me affection altogether, so I tried not to overthink things, but of course, I did anyway.

"You...You don't think he's cheating on me, do you?"

"Do Kyungsoo, are you even being serious right now?" Baekhyun said.

"What?" I said. "You never know...there's lots of temptation, especially now that we're growing in popularity."

"Still, that is the most ridiculous thing I've heard in my life," he said, getting up from the couch and walking into the kitchen. "Kai cheating on you...now that is actually impossible. He sulks like a kicked puppy when he can't be around you. Why would he cheat on you?"

I shrugged and turned around on the couch. "You don't know what is going on in his head. He could be bored of me for all I know."

"That's a bunch of bullshit, Soo, and you know it," he said as he opened the fridge and pulled out the container of juice. "Kai has completely fallen head over heels in love with you. Trust me, cheating on you would be the last thing he would ever think about doing."

"But love can fade, right?" I replied, walking in the kitchen all the way and leaning on the counter top. "I mean, if loneliness and happiness can go away love can too, right?"

"Maybe for other people, but not for him," he said as he threw me a quick glance. "You may not know this, but he is the type of guy that when he feels strongly about anything, whether that be a hobby or a person, he puts all of his heart into that. Like dance, he loves it so he puts in 110% when we practice. And I see the way he looks at you, even when you don't see him. It's the look of someone who is completely and totally whipped. So what on earth would make you think he would ever cheat on you?"

"Yeah," I said, moving my eyes down for a moment. "I could be overthinking things."

"Probably. It's the stress. It has a weird way of manifesting itself sometimes," he said as he swallowed the sip of juice he had taken.

I nodded my head. Baekhyun was right. I was only acting a bit paranoid over nothing. I mean, I tend to do that a lot in these types of situations. I was just being paranoid...right?

He did make a good point about Jongin loving me too much to cheat on me or ever hurt me, but people are capable of change. Even if they don't realize it, people are always changing things about themselves, whether it be their appearances or in the way the think and feel. So it was always a possibility that his feelings towards me were changing as he did. 

But I seriously hoped that I was wrong.

>>>>>

I discovered that he was already showered when I walked in our room and found Jongin getting dressed, only a towel encompassing his bare neck. Since I had already gotten dressed while I was in the bathroom, I walked over to my bed and started to pull the covers back.

"Oh, I didn't even hear you come in," he said, making me flinch a little and turn around. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Oh, only a few seconds," I replied, earning a small smile from him.

"Hey, are we cool?" he asked me just as I was going to turn my attention back to the bed.

"Huh? What do you mean?" I replied.

"I mean, are things okay between us?" he said. "I just feel like you've been avoiding me or something since last night."

"I'm not," I said, shaking my head slightly. "And we're fine. Just like we always are."

"Are you sure?" he said, shifting to face me completely and raising his eyebrows. I just looked down at the carpet and nodded my head. I couldn't tell him what was really on my mind because I didn't want it to blow up into a fight. "Has anyone ever told you how bad you are at lying?"

"Yeah, a few times..." I said, letting my voice trail off and making him chuckle.

"Come on, tell me what's wrong," he said as he walked over to me, stopping once he was a few centimeters away. I sighed heavily, still debating on whether or not I should tell him, but I knew he wouldn't give up if I didn't.

"I know it's just me being paranoid," I started, "but there has been something on my mind for a little bit."

"What is it?" he asked, crossing his arms over his bare chest.

"Just...don't be mad at me if I say this, okay? I know I'm probably wrong, but I just want to make sure," I said.

"Okay, I won't get mad. I promise," he said.

"Okay..." I said before I started the process of gathering my thoughts. "You wouldn't happen to be like seeing someone else, would you?" I finally spat out. He just furrowed his eyebrows and parted his lips, as if to say something. "I know that sounds crazy, but...I don't know."

"It doesn't sound crazy," he said, making my previously lowered head shoot up. "It is crazy. Kyungsoo, you know I'd never do anything to hurt you, especially something like that. What made you think that?"

"I don't know, I guess just seeing what happened with Baekhyun and Chanyeol made me a little..." I said, searching my mind for the right word.

"Paranoid?" he finished for me, making me nod in response. "Come here," he said as he chuckled and pulled me into his chest. "Do you know why I think people cheat?" he asked me, leaning his head against mine.

"No, why?" I replied, slightly baffled as to why he would ask me that.

"It's because some people are selfish and they want everything," he said. "If one person they are with has something they want and so does another, they are gonna use both so they have everything they want." I just kept listening, leaving my head against his chest until he cupped my face in his hands. "But I don't need to do that because you are my everything," he said, peering right into my eyes. "You have everything and anything I could ever want plus more. No one else in this whole world could make me any happier than you do."

"You really mean that?" I asked, my voice coming out softer than I intended it to.

"I wouldn't have just used all that breath to say it if I didn't mean it," he said, getting a small laugh out of me. "You'll never have to worry about me hurting you like that, okay?"

"Okay," I said with a guilty sigh. "I really need to work on my paranoia."

"Yeah, you do," he chuckled. "It's kind of giving me whiplash." 

I laughed a little as he smiled. "Are you mad at me?" I asked, encompassing my arms around his waist.

"Well, I'd say yes, but your cuteness makes it very hard for me to stay mad at you," he said, earning a smile from me. He smiled as well and then leaned down slightly to plant a kiss on my lips. I kissed him back, happy that all that stress was off of my chest.

My hands were still lying loosely at his sides when he placed his hands on either side of my face again, attempting to deepen the kiss. It didn't take too long after that for us to be in bed, entangled in each other's skin.