Sleeping With My Bandmate

Day 315

Baekhyun

In the midst of the celebration of Kyungsoo's return to the group, I started to think about Chanyeol. I mean, I thought about him most of the time, but the thought were just making themselves more present. Seeing how happy Kai and Kyungsoo looked with each other despite all the shit they had been through made me realize just how much I wanted Chanyeol back. It made me realize just how much I needed him back.

"Do you want some help?" I turned around and saw Kyungsoo smiling as I was in the middle of cooking dinner.

"Sure," I smiled back.

"Okay," he said before walking over and standing beside me. "What can I do?"

"Uh, you can cut these," I said, pushing some carrots and a knife over to him. A silence came upon us as he started cutting and I continued what I was doing before. "So, have you talked to Chanyeol yet?" he asked, breaking that silence. I looked over at him with a baffled and surprised expression.

"How did you know about that?" I asked. "Did Kai tell you?"

"No," he shook his head and glanced at me.

"Then how did you know?"

"I could just tell by the way you looked at him during breakfast today," he answered. "It was like you were longing for him, but there was something holding you back. You know, like a fear or something."

"Wow, you're good," I said, making him giggle.

"So what happened with you two anyway?" he questioned. "Did you have a fight or something?"

"Something like that," I sighed, going back to what I was doing. "I was stupid enough to break up with him because I was afraid we would get caught or something and know he kind of hates me. Plus, I failed to tell him I got a girlfriend, so that didn't help at all."

"Do you still have a girlfriend?" he said, making me fall silent for a few seconds.

"No," I replied. "After he found out, I couldn't bear to even look at her without feeling like shit, even if it was just for PR purposes. I couldn't stand it anymore."

"I know our situations are completely different," he said, turning to face me, "but I've learned that life is too short to let fear control you. I could have died in that accident, but I didn't because some higher power out there knew I couldn't die yet because Kai needed me and I needed him. It's the same for you guys, someone or something out there knows you two were meant to be, it's just waiting for one of you to make the first move. So, do it. Talk to him because I guarantee one day you'll look back at this and either be happy or full of regret. And trust me, regret is a terrible thing to live with."

"But what if he doesn't want to talk to me?" I said. "What if he still hates me?"

"Baekhyun, it's not possible to hate someone you love, no matter what they do," he said, shaking his head a little. I lowered my head a little and sighed in thought. He had a good point; I had to at least give it a try so that I wouldn't regret this later.

"Now, go talk to him," he said. "I'll finish up in here. After all, I do believe cooking was my specialty." I laughed a little and thanked him before walking back to the room I shared with Chanyeol. I opened the door slowly and saw that he was lying in his bed reading.

"Hi," I said softly as I shut the door and pressed my back against it. He just looked at me, not letting himself speak a single word. "Look Chanyeol," I said, walking over to his bed and sitting on the edge of it, "I know you must hate me for everything I've done to you and I get that. But you have to believe me when I say that I'm sorry. I know I haven't shown it, but I do love you and you're the only person I've felt this way about. I miss you. Even if you don't miss me, I miss you and I want you back. All I'm asking for is one more chance to really prove that I love you. Just one chance, that's it."