Sleeping With My Bandmate

Day 85

Kyungsoo

Preparations for our first comeback were coming along, and our schedules were once again becoming packed. That was good in a sense for me because it kept my mind off the only thing it wanted to focus on: the fact that Jongin was doing a swell job at being my "friend." It was starting to get irritating. It really pissed me off how he could just act like anything that had happened between us had never happened. It was like he didn't even remember that he once loved me, which made me question if he ever really did. I know our circumstances made it hard to be anything more than friends, but it couldn't have been that easy to just put his romantic feelings for me aside, right?

I was back in our room, putting away my clothes that had just gotten out of the dryer, when he came in the room, too.

"Hey, what are you doing?" he asked in a friendly tone that made me want to puke.

"Oh I was just, uh, putting away some of the laundry Jongdae did earlier," I replied without looking at him. "There's still another load in the dryer, but I put what I could find of yours on your bed. The rest will be done later."

"Cool, thanks, hyung," he said.

Hyung: one of the words I was starting to despise. I used to call my brother hyung and called the older members of the group hyung, so I didn't have a problem using it. It was just when Jongin called me that when I wanted to strangle the person who created that word.

"Hey, I meant to tell you," he said, now rummaging around his side of the room, "you sounded really good in the studio a few weeks ago."

"Thanks," I said with no particular tone in my voice. I didn't how to take compliments from him anymore. They made me feel more confused about how exactly he thought about me. "Jongdae said the next load will be done in like 40 minutes if you wanted to grab it before you went to bed."

"Oh, okay," he said, briefly glancing at the time on his phone. "I'm gonna try to get a couple more hours of practice in, so I'll probably go through it tomorrow at some point." 

I nodded briefly, but I didn't think he saw it because he turned around and kept gathering a few of his things right after he finished talking. I looked at the time and decided to go to bed since it was getting late.

"I'm going to bed then," I said as I pulled back the comforters on top of bed. "Goodnight."

"Oh okay," he said, his eyes faltering a bit as he looked in my direction. "Goodnight, hyung."

Hyung: a word I seriously hated.

Jongin

I suppose when you love someone as much I loved Kyungsoo, you can tell when they aren't feeling like themselves. Some might call it intuition or just his the tells I had come to be able to see in him, but my senses went off whenever I was near him over the next several days. I just got this strange vibe from him. It was like he had so much to say, but was keeping it all bottled inside. Although I had decided that it was best if we were just friends, I still worried about him. It's not good for anyone to keep feelings bottled in, even if it's for the sake of other people.

"Hey, we were going to go pick up something to eat. You guys want to come with?" Joonmyun asked as him and the other members put their coats and shoes on.

"No," I answered for both Kyungsoo and I. "You guys just go."

"Alright," Joonmyun said. "I'm going to lock the door so just make to do the same if you go anywhere while we're still out, okay?"

"Okay." I nodded.

"We'll try to be quick," he said.

"Uh huh," I replied, ready for him to leave so I could talk to Kyungsoo. Then he finally left the dorm, shutting the door behind him. I gulped down the last sip of water before I headed out into the living room, where Kyungsoo was reading. "Hey," I said as I walked around the back off the couch to sit next to him.