She was.... Lost.

chapter 16

*Cristina’s POV*

Its been a week since the New Years party, I’ve been stuck at home with Luke Jr. I haven’t even been eating, I try but it all feels gross. I feel gross- revolting really. The night of the incident Luke called my mom and explained everything to her, she cried her eyes out. Steve overheard and whenever I pass by him he gives me a look as if to say “I’m so sorry” , he and my mom give me that look. It’s all so annoying so I just stay in my room. Luke has came by every day to talk and try to get me out of a bubble I was pushed back into. I know he means well but I don’t want him to come so much, is it wrong of me to say so?

Knock Knock

“Uh… Come in” I sat up on my seat Luke Jr on my lap playing with his chew toy.

“Cris, Lukes here.” It was Steve at my door.

I groaned but eventually said “Okay, let him come in.”

A few minutes later Jr. jumped off of my lap and ran towards my door, Luke was standing there in his signature ripped skinny jeans with a black hoodie adorning his tall physique.

“Hi.” he finally spoke up.

“Hey.” I replied trying to smile, it was no use.

“How are you?”

Its been like this for the past week, he says hi and I say hi back and he eventually ask how I am. It’s frustrating because usually I lie. I lie and say I’m fine, but I’m nowhere near fine. I can’t stand saying I’m fine when in reality I feel I’m dying inside. So instead of saying I’m fine I took another direction...

I stood up from my chair facing my window and now faced Luke fully. I took in a deep breathe and finally spoke,

“Don’t ask me that! Don’t ask me that every damn day you see me! I know you mean well but for fucks sake Luke, I was raped! I- I don’t know exactly how I am, I just know that I feel so dirty. I feel sick every time I think about the fact that some random asshole has touched me kissed me and fucked me. Do you know how many times I’ve showered since that night? I’ve showered at least four times a day just hoping to wash off the way I feel, but no I can’t even do that, Luke. I- I-” My voice was cracking by now and I had tears streaming down my pale face.

“I- I’m not okay Luke. God dammit I’m far from it!” I soon fell down to the ground, my hands coming up to my face.

I was crying, more like screaming and sobbing. I finally told someone how I felt. Someone I love knows now, and I feel somewhat better.

I heard footsteps coming toward me and soon felt a hand on my back. Because I didn’t know who it was I flinched and looked up to see Luke with hurt slapped across his face. His eyes glossy and some tears slipping out onto his perfectly clear skin.

“I- I’m sorry, Cristina. I am so sorry. I just didn’t know what else to say or do… I am just trying my best for you not to shut me out, I don’t want to be shut out. You’ve already done that to most of your friends and family. I don’t want to be outside of your bubble, please baby just let me in okay?” His raspy deep voice spoke.

I looked into his blue orbs, tears were now running down his face. I felt so bad for bursting out on him like that.

“Luke, thank you so much for trying. Thank you for pushing through all my bullshit. I need you in my life, please stay with me?” I spoke softly while holding his face in my small cold hands.

“I’ll always stay baby…. always.” I smiled and pressed my forehead against his.

“Cristina?”

“Yeah?”

“C- Can I kiss you?” I tensed at his question. I know Luke wouldn’t hurt me at all but I was still a bit scared. It was quiet for a moment, Luke’s eyes losing their sparkle. Eventually I nodded my head because Luke has no fault in this.

He slowly leaned in his eyes looking at mine then at my mouth. His hand making its way to my cheek. Our breathes mixing together, I was so nervous this all felt like my first kiss over again. His thumb drawing small circles on my cheek and eventually I felt his lips softly on mine. I soon started to kiss back, shocked at how well I have reacted to it. Our tongues dancing with one another while he caressed my cheek and I caressed his neck. I finally pulled away, not because I was scared but because I wanted to stop and realize how lucky I am.

Luke looked at me with shocked eyes and started to stutter,

“Shut up, dummy. I love you okay. I want you to know that Luke.” I held his hands in mine.

“I love you too.” he spoke softly leaning forward to kiss my hand as if I were some royal queen.

Authors Note: Hey guys! Its  been forever, sorry for that. I decided to do a quick update cause I havent' done one in like woah haha. It might suck a bit because honestly i don't know where to go from here. But trust me I'll get a clue. Just bear with me loves! Please vote, comment and tell other peeps to read? Bye dolls!