The Soldier's Roommate

Chapter 25: Round two.

Alice

I couldn't wait anymore.

I just couldn't.

And yet, when Elijah drives us home as I asked him to, nervousness washes through me. The sexual tension between us is almost boiling hot from every glance, every subtle touch, every stolen kiss at a red light or stop sign, and still I feel apprehensive of the fact that there won't be any rules at home.

It's not like I don't trust Elijah, or that I don't want it. Because I do trust him, and goddamn, my body basically screams at me to just take him already every time he so much as looks at me.

The last time I have been intimate with anyone is almost a decade ago, and it's not like it was bad or anything... But with Lee, it always felt like I was doing something wrong. What if I am? What if I don't know what I'm doing?

"Hey..." Elijah's soft voice stops the train of thoughts in my head, and when I look outside I realize we're already in our driveway. "Everything okay in there?"

He gently taps my temple, and I instantly turn to look at him, the worried glimmer in his eyes warming my heart in all kinds of ways. The fact that he worries so much about me should shut my anxiety up, but it just doesn't... That's not how this works, unfortunately.

And still I nod my head, trying to appear as confident as possible when I press a swift kiss on his palm before I step out of the car, suddenly needing to take a breath. I do just that as soon as I step outside, letting the wind hit my face as I inhale deeply, trying to let the oxygen clear my head.

I feel Elijah's hand in my own before he pulls me toward the house, quickly letting us inside before he pulls me into his lap on the couch in the living room. I almost feel like I'm having an anxiety attack with how deeply I inhale and exhale, trying to calm myself the best way I know how to. My arms are wrapped around his neck as I take deep breaths, inhaling his calming scent while I hide my head in the crook of his neck. Usually his scent immediately grounds me.

But this train of thought just keeps on rushing through my brain, keeps telling me this will be awkward and I will do something wrong and that I will make a fool of myself, the inexperience turned me into a rusty old bag apparently.

"Okay, Alice, I need you to look at me," Elijah suddenly says, his hand on my knee making me look up at him. He looks worried, confused, and so damn understanding that it's hard not to look at anything but him. "You know I'm the last person to pressure you into opening up to me... But you're honestly kind of scaring me right now. What's going on?"

The fact that he's so open about this, that he so clearly knows something bothers me, immediately makes me tear up. I really have no idea what's going on right now. I've never felt this insecure about anything.

"Alice..." His voice is filled with raw emotion and worry when he brushes some hair out of my face, those steely but warm grey eyes searching my own, looking for a way to help me out of this mess. But then something snaps, and the only thing I know to do is kiss him with as much passion as I possess. I push him back on the couch, our tongues colliding and fighting in a matter of seconds, and it's like every stroke of his tongue just destroys those insecurities in my head, the fire between us potent enough to burn every shred of anxiety to the ground.

But then he suddenly pulls back, his hands cupping my face as he studies me with worried eyes. "I'd love to keep doing that, but I have a feeling I'm missing something here."