The Pages of Their Journal

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[Posted on July 8, 2020]

"I-I can't love you." She ran as fast as she could. Her friends were laughing at us as I confessed my feelings to her.

It was my first time being rejected by a person I expected I had a chance to be with.

-

"S-Sorry, I don't love you." The girl in front of me announced. She motioned her head sideways and then looked away. She swallowed a lot of times after realizing we were in middle of the public. She then ran. It was my second time being rejected by a person I expected I had a chance to be with.

-

"P-Please, s-stay away from m-me." Her body was shaking, scared of the fact that I guy like me would confess his feelings towards her. She stepped backwards with a slow pace, then it became faster and faster. She ran.

It was my nth time being rejected by a person I expected I had a chance to be with.

-

I smiled with pain could be seen on it. I stared in the sky for few moments when my best friend sat beside me. My gazed landed on her which made me notice that she was looking in the sky too. The birds were flying, spreading their wings. The smell of wet grass covered the area which added to my feelings now.

I once again looked up in the sky and asked, "Why are they like that?"

My best friend turned her eyes on me with an interrogating face. "What?"

"Them. They say they like a man who is funny, joyful, smart, friendly, and kind. I can say I have those traits but why don't they like me?"

She heaved a deep breath before answering my question. "W-Why are you saying that?"

Closing my eyes, I told her, "Kasi lagi nalang akong rejected. Mas matimbang pa rin sa kanila ang lalaking cold, gwapo, at mayaman though according to the same people they love someone who is funny, regardless of their face and status in life."

I felt my heart skipped a beat after saying those words to my best friend who was always been there for me. She witnessed all the rejections I had and that made her know the real me.

"You know you cannot trust people just by their words. People sometimes do not do what they say."

I felt an immense power of grief. My breathing was uncomfortable due to the topic we were having.

"They are blind." I said.

She immediately expressed herself, "Stop acting like you're not. You're blind too."

I was seriously talking when she laughed. Her hands were even clapping. However, I knew that it was a laugh not because she was happy.

"What's with you? I'm not like them who are blinded with something."

"Yes, you are."

I looked at her with a confuse face, "No, I am not."

"Yes, you really are." she insisted.

"No."

"Yes."
"No!"

"Yes."

"Why are saying that--?"

"Because if you are not blind then why don't you see my love for you?!" she told me as fast as she could.