The Invisible Silver Lining [CURRENTLY BEING EDITED]

Chapter 37

Much love to all of you <3

-CFF

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I feel warm. I open my eyes to see that I'm sitting in someone's lap. I look up slowly to see Ian's chin resting on the top of my head, or at least it was. He moves it as I move my head to look up at him. His fingers run through the tips of my hair. His thumb makes little circles on my cheek. I slip my arms around his waist and sob. Ian holds me, planting little kisses on the top of my head as his strong arms hold me fast. "What happened Em?" Ian asks me quietly. I don't respond. Instead, I put my attention on the tears I'm creating as they fall off my face, soaking the dark tank-top Ian's wearing under his leather jacket. "Precious talk to me." Ian pleads. I whisper in response, "Just hold me Ian." And he does.

His firm arms hold me to him tightly. Keeping me safe, secure. The tears keep falling as the time flies by. I don't know how long Ian holds me, but I'm glad for it. At some point I look up to watch his calm and reassuring face. His thumbs gently wipe the tears off my face. He bends down and kisses off the tear dangling on the edge of my chin, threatening to fall off. His finger leaves my cheek to trace the shape of my lips. I shouldn't be letting him touch me. I let Alexander touch me. Look where that got me. I should stop Ian. I don't care how he feels about me! I need to stop him.

Ian watches me, his baby blue eyes staring softly into mine. Oh, forget how I feel. I could use the comfort right now. Comfort I know he's so willing to give. I make a decision and I stick with it. I close the semi-large gap between Ian and myself and I kiss him. I can tell he's surprised because he doesn't kiss me back right away. But the surprise doesn't last long. Ian kisses me back as he pulls me up against him as much as I can go. His hand leaves my waist and travels to my face. My breath catches. His lips move with mine. My feelings are conflicting. I don't want to stop him, this feels amazing. But at the same time...

He lightly bites down on my bottom lip. I gasp as a moan unexpectedly escapes me. My heart is pounding at the speed of a racecar. I can feel Ian's lips part and I guess what's about to happen. Before it does, I pull back and rest my head on his shoulder. Ian gently rests his chin on top of my head. His arms slip around my waist once more. "I don't know if it helps you right now, but I'm here for you. I will always be here for you." I snuggle closer to him, playing in his arms as my eyes close.