Letting Go

Decisions and Secrets

Kane's POV

The sound of Dillan sleeping beside me makes me feel i guilted than I already do. Not just about the fight and letting go of our future that I wanted to build, but because I lied to him.

Because when my mom called me, I told her that I'm ready to let go of this silly pipe dream that I have of becoming a professional fighter. Like my mom and auger have been trying to tell me, it's time for me to settle down with a real job.

In a week, I'm going to be starting my internship and I'm starting law school in the spring.

And I haven't told Dillan.

I know how protective he is and how much he's willing to fight for my side, but I've given up and I'm not so sure it's in his blood to do that.

It's one of those things that I adore about him, but it's also one of those things that I wish I could change some times. I don't want him to fight me on this, and so for now, I won't tell him.

I'm still laying awake and hour later when Dillan wakes up, the bags under his eyes not going anywhere it seems as he looks at me. I've nerve seen his hazel eyes look so dead, and it makes me ache a little to know that I put that look there.

"You don't look too good." Dillan tells me and since I know he means well I laugh it off, my throat dry and hoarse still form crying.

"Well yeah. Its to be expected a little." I say and he cracks a ghost of a smile.

And it crack my heart. Because the other thing that I'd didn't tell him is that I'm moving back home, back to the butlers and cooks and being under my families wing because I need to right now. And though it sounds impossible on paper, I want Dillan to come with me.

I need him to come with me so that the two of us can maybe have a shot at a normal happy laugh with each other even if it's not the life that I planned.

"Are you sure youre okay?" Dillan's asks me, his hand coming up to rest against my cheek and I kiss it softly, letting the warmth spill into me a little.

"No. But I can't let it weigh me down forever. Just give me a few days and I'll get there." I tell me, guilt piercing my heart once more as I avoid really answering the question. And I know it's to save myself because I can't shake this feeling that things are not going to end up good.

~~~~~~~~~
Filler chapter. Stan is starting to come around but I have five short chapters left and I'm trying to push through it. I'm hoping I'll be done at nine and maybe I can take a nap before I start editing and finding pictures.

Thoughts?

Comments?

QOTD: Can you play guitar?