//countryhuman stories\\

DenEst (vball au) 7

~one or two days later~

"...You're kidding."

"I feel like I am, he was soo romantic! He kissed my neck and he even moaned my name! I didn't know Den could be so romantic!"

Esti could feel her heart shatter. Into thousands-- no, millions of little pieces, scattered all across the girl's locker room floor.

It didn't help that she had done her finals that morning either. She didn't feel very well from those, but now she just felt used.

Used. Toyed with. Discarded.

She felt like nothing.

Tears brimmed her eyes as white noise filled her ears, rushing herself into a stall as she shut and locked it angrily, dropping her locker bag onto the floor as she pushed her back against the wall, her hands clenched into fists as she felt her vision go blurry.

Had everything meant nothing to Den? Had her 'everything' been absolutely fucking zero to Den? Was she just not good enough?

She felt the anger in her body dissipate as sorrow flooded her bones, making her drop to her knees, her back still pushed against the wall as tears fled down her soft cheeks, the ones Den had cupped so endearingly in his soft, warm palms.

Used again. She had been used again. First by his brother, now by Den.

She covered her face as she trembled, walls upon walls collapsing in her head: she was nothing but ruins.

Was this her curse? Would she ever learn to properly love someone, to be loved by someone?

She didn't know.

-------------------------------------

Den used his shirt to wipe the sweat off of his face, grinning widely as the boys and girls mingled now that their separate practices were over. "Hey Pip, did you hear that Hk's coming to our next game?"

Pip's eyes widened. "Really?"

"Nah, I'm just messin' with ya." Den punched his friend's shoulder. "Simp."

He ignored Pip's angry response as he spied Esti across the way, and went over to greet her. "Hey Esti! How're your hands, any better?"

Estonia said nothing, not even looking at Den as she stared emptily at the floor, sitting down on the bleachers behind her as she looked at her sneakers, white noise still filling her ears.

"...Esti?" He repeated himself, waving his hand in front of her face. "Hey, are you okay?"

She had to keep herself from crying as she sat there, swallowing hard as she focused on her sneakers. Maybe if she didn't look at him, she wouldn't cry. Maybe if she didn't look at him, or pay attention to him, she could just forget it all. She could forget everything she said to him, everything they did together, maybe even forget that he existed.

"Est--"

"Alright!" the coach barked, walking onto the court and calling up all the people to practice. "We're going to do what we did last week, boys versus girls, we need to get your stamina up-- chop chop!" he chased the players around like they were wild sheep.

As Esti stood in her serving position, she looked at the ball that was shakily balancing in her palm, taking a few moments before serving it weakly over the net.