Tattoos and Scars | Completed, Unedited

25 | The Memories

Adrian

I take a drag out of my cigarette as I'm sitting on Blake's couch. I couldn't stay there with my mother. She was being... like a mother. And besides, I have plenty more visits with her. I needed to take a break from all things involving mom.

"Hand me the lighter," I tell Blake, my voice raspy from the large amounts of smoking I've been doing for the past two hours. He simply shakes his head as he takes a sip from his fruit punch. "Blake, give me my lighter."

"Your fourth cigarette in the past two hours. Do you want to breathe or not?" He scolds me as he tosses my lighter in the trash can. I frown and swagger towards his kitchen to grab a match stick.

"Where's the matchbox?"

"I hid the matchsticks. Adrian, you need to chill on the smoking."

I cross my arms. "Give me three good reasons, why?"

"One. You're underage. Two. You need to live past thirty. Three. You have a girlfriend who hates people that drink or smoke."

"Those are solid reasons. But I'm gonna need those matchsticks," I reply, curtly. "Blake, just gimme the damn matchsticks."

"You never smoked when Ava was around," He tells me. It's pretty bold coming from him. I close my eyes for longer than I have to, not looking him in the eye.

"That was before," I say, my tone straight and stoic. "It's over now." Those were my final words before I stormed out of his house.

————

Three. You have a girlfriend who hates people that drink or smoke.

He was right, I thought, taking another long drag in my cigarette. Every word he said was right, but I needed this right now. I needed to mellow down before I did something I regret.

I don't know what got into me, but after Bailey had said yes I just didn't feel like myself. What if I was making a mistake? What if I was inviting Bailey into more danger than before?

What if she doesn't even want to be with me, but said yes out of fear? What if- What if she ends up like Ava because of me? I let out a puff of smoke, and take another drag.

I take in the view in front of me. An endless field, golden from the sun's kiss. The clouds were blushing from the flirtatious sky, glowing with a silver lining. It was a perfect scene.

For someone who deserved to be in love. I abruptly get up, giving the sky it's privacy and head towards my car. I toss the cigarette butt away, and lean against my car, taking out another.

I've been smoking since the past year and a little more. It's the only thing that seems to calm me down and prevent me from spiralling into an endless abyss.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" I ask her, hope glinting in my eyes. If she was blushing, I wouldn't know because her glowing chocolate skin was excellent at hiding it.

"If I say yes, will you buy me food?"

I throw my head back and laugh. "Anything."

"Then I'm all yours."

I bought her so much food that day, I remember naming a food baby. She wanted it to be named Adrianna, and I wanted Avery. If it was a boy, she wanted Adrian Jr. and I wanted Avis.

The day after that, me and her went on a ten mile run. Half the time we walked and snapped pictures, but we ran the other five or six miles.

We were only dating for a few weeks, but everyday she would tell me she loves me and I would tell her I love her.

She bursts into a fit of giggles while staring at her phone. "Adrian, look at this meme."

"What is it with you and memes?" I tease, a smile plastered on my face. She shows me a meme of Winnie the Pooh. I look at it for a while, trying to make out the words.

When I finally make them out, I chuckle. "That's stupid."

Ava loved going through her phone all the time. She would always be looking at memes or at her celebrity crush. I didn't mind that she had a celebrity crush, because everyone does.

Not me though.

Okay, maybe I did but I won't tell who.

"You should stop with the gang shit!" She yelled from across the room. "You could fucking die."

"Yeah, as if," I scoff, ignoring her. "You do know I've been doing this for two years now right?"

"So?"

"I got this."

Little did I know that I haven't got this. I could easily look after my own life, but protecting another life was harder. I didn't know how.

In the end, I lost. Sure, I took down Channing and his gang, but I still lost and Channing won.

And now I'm afraid I'll lose Bailey too. I want her to be with me, but if I keep her close, there's a chance she'll go far, far away. But if I let go now, then I'll have to live with a shadow of doubt over my head all the time, thinking, if only.

Before I can answer my own questions, my phone starts ringing.

It's Blake.

"There's going to be another attack at the mansion. Hurry." 

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okay, i mean, i felt a little more poetic during this chapter so here you go! thank you so much for reading!! <3