Ariana Grande's Sister

chapter ten: you're not truly lonely, not with me.

It's been a week since moving into my sister's apartment, a hectic week at that. So many tears had been shed, so many talks had been had. Overall, not a usual week considering I went from a non-caring mother and father to an all loving and gentle sister who was so sought on giving me the whole damn world when I deserved nothing such. It was truly draining, so much so that every afternoon was spent sleeping. Ari let me be too, she probably thought I needed the sleep. Didn't matter either way, the sleep was fruitless. No matter the hours I slept I woke up with little energy. Ari had briefly spoken about a therapist, and that had scared me shitless.

"I'm not crazy, Ari!"

Ariana smiled that oh so gentle smile. "That's not what I'm saying, baby."

"Then what are you trying to say?" I gently pushed my plate away from me, no longer in the mood for mac and cheese.

"I'm trying to say I love you and always will, I love you so much. My god, I'm so afraid to lose you again. I don't want you to hurt the way your hurting now, I just want you to be happy and I'm not sure what I'm doing, so getting you a th-" I could only reach across the island, gently gripping my sister's soft hand to stop her oncoming tears.

That had been the end of that conversation but I promised Ariana to at least think about it. I knew that regardless my decision, I would be going to that therapist. Not because Ari would force me, but because I knew I at least owed her that much.

"So school started last month,"

I had been scrolling through my Tik-Tok feed, sitting nicely on the comforter in Ari's apartment when those words had left my sister's mouth. "W-what?" I froze. School? I had completely forgotten that I was a Junior this year. I gulped, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. "I-i..did you enroll me?" Ariana smiled, bless her and that smile, and quickly made her way towards the sofa.

"I didn't want to without you there, but you know you have to go to school right?" I could only shut my eyes briefly as I saw flashbacks of my past bullies.

Bet you these new school bullies would give them a run for their money eh?

I suppressed the urge to wince as the voice cynically laughed.

I fluttered my eyes opened, meeting Ari's brown doe ones. "I know," I grimly smiled.

Ariana frowned, "I know you don't want to Miles, and as much as I absolutely adore your company, I just got you back and would definitely not want to lose you now to Child services."

Eh doubtful, your a worthless piece of shit, not even worth those people's time.

I suddenly felt an oncoming headache as I glanced towards my sister, truly taking in her tired eyes and sagging body. I was truly wearing her out. She looked nothing but tired, yet she still held that smile up, she still had that shine within her eyes. I clenched my fist around my phone, feeling angry at myself.

I mean, look at what the fuck your doing! You fucking imbecile! You did this! YOUR FAULT!

I could only look down at my lap, the voice was right. "I know," I mumbled and the anger dissipated. Tears sprung out of my eyes as the voice continued its assault. But as quickly as they came, they went. Ariana was softly cooing to me, ushering words of comfort and love before I became a panic attack mess. I felt myself slowly calming, "I'm sorry," yet Ariana just smiled gently putting her arm around me. "You have nothing to a-" I stood abruptly, cutting my sister off.

"No! Don't say that. Fuck, I mean look at you Ariana! Your tired and beaten! Bags under your eyes, walking like a fucking zombie! It's my fault and I'm sorry! I'm so sorry." I slid down to Ari's knees. Mumbling weak 'sorry's' as tears rolled down my cheeks.

As you should be, it's not enough though, you know what is though.

I could only fear my thoughts as ending my life flashed before my eyes, I didn't want that. Not now, not with Ari. I was saved from my own terrors by my only true guardian. Ariana had picked me from the cold wood floor, and was rocking me gently in her lap, singing softly in my ear. I blinked, cursing myself for my emotional outburst, wishing sleep would just take me. "Shhh, no more thinking, it's not your fault, just sleep." Not minding that Ari had read my mind, I shut my eyes. And not caring it was only 6 pm either, I smiled.

"Frankie?"

Ariana let out a joyous laugh, and I smiled.

"Yes, Frankie, silly. Your brother?" I playfully rolled my eyes. "I know who Frankie is, sis, just a little curious as to why he would wanna see," I paused, immediately trying to backtrack.

"Why wouldn't your brother, who loves you just as much as I, wouldn't want to see you?" Ariana's eyebrow raised accusingly as I leaned on the doorway into her room. I spared a glance at Ariana's room who's was just a bit bigger then mines and accommodated a lot of clothing, shoes with a killer view to top off. "I dunno, i just haven't seen him since.." The words died upon my lips yet Ariana's eyesight casted downwards while she sat at her vanity. And suddenly I felt like an ass, she didn't want to be reminded of that.

Why not? It was a glorious night, don't ya think?

I felt my heart tug at those cruel words but clenched my jaw, I would ignore the voice for tonight.

"Ariana, I'm sorry, I didn't mean-" Ariana sat up, locking her eyes with mines through the vanity mirror, daring me to speak more. "No, no more apologizing." I could only smile as a warm feeling spread throughout my body at Ari's conviction behind her words. I played with the hem of my oversized Coyote Theory shirt and I couldn't help remembering the heartwarming memory from my younger days.

"Lonely,"

I couldn't help the giggle that left my lips as I watched my big sister twirl around my bed, singing loud yet beautifully. Ari danced her way towards me, grabbing the pillow that was resting in my lap.

"Passion is crashing as we speak."

I felt all too giddily as Ariana laid a chaste kiss upon my forehead before smacking me with my soft pillow. I laughed out load, the air felt so light and free.

"You seem so lonely,"

Ariana brought me into her lap, and i couldn't help snuggling into her chest.

"You're the ground my feet won't reach."

Ariana's heart was steady, her chest vibrated with each lyric.

"So if you're lonely, Darling you're glowing."

I couldn't help join in with my sister, and Ari wrapped her arms against my small frame.

Suddenly Ariana jolted me out of my loving thoughts with a gentle touch to my shoulder, yet Ariana's soft smile upon her face showed me she knew. I felt myself being pulled into a warm hug and my eyes fluttered closed. Ariana gently sang,

"If you're lonely come be lonely with me."

Wishing the moment could last longer was a mistake as we heard the doorbell chime.

a/n: so I'm literally on computer, and its quite hard not knowing how the format is going to appear on mobile since, let's face it, most of you lovely peeps read on mobile. (no shame in that) So, while my phone is getting fixed, y'all will have to live with the format. Anyways, how was it? y'all like it? kinda got emotional at the last bit there! Also in case you've been living under a rock the song is called 'This Side of Paradise' by Coyote Theory, and i thought it fit quite well with Miles. SO yeah, review, vote, comment, its the only thing keeping this story alive ngl. love y'all, adios!

-sed