BREAK 2.0 (Kylo Ren Fanfiction)

XXIV

I can't help but feel uncomfortable at how awkward I'm imagining meeting up with Kylo to train today will be.

Will things be different? Will things be the same? Will seeing him be as awkward as I think it will be?

Ever since he left so unexpectedly—and unfortunately just as things were really seeming to heat up—I have been fantasizing about him. Though my beginnings are very naïve, I am still a human. I am still keenly aware of the desires of humans, including myself. I know what comes after kissing for either couples, or men and their whores.

I look at myself in the small mirror in my room, adjusting the waistband of my black training pants so that they're even on both of my hips. I fix my bra as well, noting that the one I'm wearing today covers more than the dress I wore yesterday. I almost regret the fact. I want Kylo to look at my chest. I want him to look at all of me and want me. However, I choose to stick to normal training gear instead of a seductress' dress.

I take a deep breath and leave my room, heading towards the training room. Not knowing what to expect, I hope for the best.

Honestly, part of me wants things to just be normal and almost as if yesterday didn't even happen. At the same time, though, I don't want things to go back to the way they were. I want to return to the kiss Kylo and I shared. I want to even explore more than just a kiss.

I huff, turning a corner and heading down the corridor to the training facility. My thoughts are out of control.

Soon, I find myself standing at the door, pausing before I enter the room.

Taking a deep breath, I turn the knob and walk in the room.

I'm met with a room full of weapons but void of any other person.

I begin to sigh, realizing I'm alone.

Before I can release my entire sigh, though, I am slammed up against the wall by an invisible force and I realize I'm not alone.

It feels as though hands are pressing down on my neck and restricting my windpipe, but I'm still able to breathe.

I claw at my neck, uncomfortable with how little air I can actually take in and push out as Kylo steps into my view, his arm raised as if he's choking me. His mask is off, the dark locks of his hair framing his face as he glowers at me. If I weren't gasping for air, I would have more ability to revel in his good looks.

He gets impossibly close to me, eventually releasing my neck from the force and pressing his body into mine to keep me in place.

His facial expression tells me nothing. There is not a single trace of emotion on any of his features.

My breathing is already heavy at this point and I reach out to touch his arm, but his hand moves faster than mine and soon my wrist is in his large hand, pressed back against the wall. My eyes widen as I feel a sudden rush of heat swell inside my body at this action.

Kylo's head cocks to the side as his eyes stay trained darkly on mine.

My heart beats quicker and even though my breathing is harder, I find it difficult to breathe, as though he is choking me again. I am equally fearful of him and attracted to him in this moment, and the line between the two is blurred.

"Rest well?" He asks me, slowly releasing my wrist from his hand and trailing on of his long fingers up the side of my arm.

I swallow, trying to push back my uneasy feeling. Nodding, I look away from him.

"I didn't," he says lowly, grabbing my chin and forcing me to look at him. I widen my eyes. His grip on my chin is on the edge of being painful, but oddly I don't mind.

"Why?" I whisper, wanting to keep my eyes off of him. My fear is waning, but I'm still trembling under his look and his touch from anticipation. My arousal only grows as I spend more time in the same room as him.

He doesn't respond, but just looks at me harder, squinting his eyes.

I part my lips to say something to him again, but before I can make a sound, Kylo releases me and walks away. He heads towards the weapons table where he's laid out a few items.

I take a deep breath, trying to calm my breathing and my heart rate before walking to the table myself.

"We're so close to the mission," Kylo states, grabbing a knife and turning quickly to throw it at a target. "You have all the skills you need except one."

I approach him slowly, proud to hear those words come from his mouth. I want nothing more than to hear him approve of me.

Okay, Maybe that's a lie. Maybe there is something I want more.

He takes another knife from behind him and instead of throwing it, he hands it to me, motioning for me to throw it at the target. I look at him cautiously before squaring up and launching the knife at the target, hitting the very center. My shot was better than Kylo's and he nods in approval.

I turn to him, acting as though my heart is not racing and there is not a throbbing heat between my legs.

"Then what's left?" I ask, wondering what I could possibly need.

I have been training with Kylo for so long that I don't even know how long I've been here. At least a few months because it takes a lot of training for me to be where I'm at now. I've learned everything I could need for my future mission as well. I've learned how to act the part of an innocent girl, I've learned how to use what I have as weapons, I've learned how to fight with weapons, and I've learned how to fight without weapons. I don't know what else could possibly be there for me to learn.

I look at Kylo as he uses the very tip of his knife to poke the fleshy part of his finger. It draws a tiny bit of blood, but he seems very unaffected as he lazily looks up at me. There's a lazy grin on his face as he squeezes his finger to draw more blood out. I long to reach out and claim the blood in my mouth the way he did mine yesterday. What is wrong with me?

I watch blood drip from his finger to the ground as if it was the most interesting thing I've ever seen. I wonder what it tastes like.

His next words cause my eyes to snap up to his face in shock, the blood—and any arousal I had—forgotten.

"You have to learn how to kill."