Help... (Daveed Diggs x Reader)

2..

I woke up and daveed was still asleep and I tried to escape out his grasp but I couldn't .. " stay for a few..." he said so I gave in a layed back down ... but my mind started to race ... this happens a lot when I'm not doing nothing and I'm just left with my thought... I started to think does he only love me because he pitys me? Does Lief hate me.... " do you love me?" I ask ... I kinda wish I didn't because now he probably thinks I'm weird ... " of course I do sunshine ... I love your laugh ... and your smile .... and how you can always see the bright side ... I love how your a fighter ..." he kisses me on the forehead .. which made me feel better ... " we gotta get up or we're gonna be late for the show!" I say while looking at the time . Me and him both sprint up and get changed and get coffee on the way there ... That show night was great! It was also the bullets last night ... which is sad cause I'll miss her but you can't do it forever you know ! A lot of people are planning on leaving even daveed! But I still don't know what I want to do ... Hamilton was my only stable job... what if I leave and can't support myself .. I stop those thoughts immediately. I need to think about now and not the future... me and daveed head to my house and just watch a few movies ... I still stuck on decide if I should leave with everybody else... that night I don't get much sleep... my mind kept racing and I didn't want to wake up daveed so at 3 AM I decide to just get up and start my day ...( mind you we went to bed at 11:30) I just had to be quiet just to make sure I didn't wake daveed up ... for a while I sat on the kitchen floor eating a bowl of cereal ... but then I got another bowl on cereal and sat on the couch instead ... my phone was still in the bedroom and I didn't want to turn on the TV just in case it was too loud ... so I just sat there for awhile... my mind went blank... I didn't think of nothing I was just stuck in this gaze .... after awhile I finish my cereal... to be honest even I was confused what was happening.. I was taking my medication like the doctors said for all my problems .... why do I still feel like this? I've tried talking to a therapist but it doesn't work it just makes me feel worse because I'm so broken that I need someone else to help fix me ...... I get changed into running clothes and get a pair of headphones and my phone and go for a run ... I don't know where I'm headed but I'm running ... I probably run till 5 AM. I get back to the house and go to take a shower ... for a little I sit in the shower fully clothed ... but I finally actually take the shower .. today was an off day which was good but also not ... Daveed still hasn't waken up which is weird so I just decide to read a book .. weird... I never read ... after a while I stoped reading the book and just flip the pages and stared at the words ... I was sooo bored and it was only 6 AM.. Daveed wakes up at like 10 AM or 11 AM... what to do what to do ... I snack on some chips and watch a few videos ... still bored ... then I go lay back down next to daveed .. still nothing so I just stare at him ... he was so beautiful.. Dark brown skin and the most fluffy hair .. such strong arms ... I really don't deserve him ... I don't deserve nothing ... my mind starts to go to a dark place so I try to get close to daveed.. it doesn't work ... I can feel myself leaving my body entering my mind... it felt like I was floating ... I could see my self ... I could see daveed ... what was happening... I was scarred but at the same time confused ... this has never happened before ... then I started to feel pain ... a lot of it ... I tried to scream but I couldn't .. ( A/N I tried to scream but my head was under water .. sorry I had to !) it felt so werid ... the pain was everywhere ... soon everything went black ... a rush of cold air flooded over me ... I didn't know what just happened... I didn't feel like I was floating no more ... I opened my eyes but I couldn't move ... I could see but it was like my body wasent working ... I felt something heavy on my chest and then I saw a shadow standing over me ... I don't know how long this lasted but I was slowly looses air.. I could finally move I sprung up out of bed ... Daveed noticed and woke up .. " what's wrong sunshine?" ... I was so confused and scared .. I know he could see the terror in my eyes .. I could barely make out words.. " T-The S-Sha—aDo-w" I try to say ... " here come, lay back down ... " I layed back down with him and he held me in his arms .. a few tears ran down my face but no sound ... " was it another hallucination?" He ask .. I nod ... " shh it's okay it's not real ..." I hold on to him for a while .. I dig my finger nails in his skin which I know probably hurts ... we stay like this for awhile ... " are you feeling better?" I nod ... he pulls away and notices that I look really tired .. " what time did you wake up ..?" I put up three fingers ... " 3AM! Y/N you barely got any sleep ... you need to go bed .." ... no response.. " do you want me to stay here with you?" No matter how much I wanna say yes I shake my head no .. " okay well if you need me just text me I need to head back to my place ." He gets and gathers his clothes .... I watch him leave .. I wish I could've said yes ... even though he wanted me to stay and go to bed I couldn't.. I get out of bed and decide that I need to go grocery shopping .. so I make a list and head to the grocery store .. after that I come home and unpack everything by now it's only 11AM so there's still not much do ... I decide that I'll just clean today. So I clean my room and put away everything that needed to be put away .. I also make a portion of my closet for daveed .. I bought some things that he would like and use so when he stays over he doesn't have to bring everything ! I fix all the other bedrooms too! I decide maybe that I wanna have a sleep over with all the cast .. or maybe just the girls I don't know yet ... so I text the Hamilton cast
Hamilton cast !
Y/N : hey I'm pretty bored so would any of y'all want to have a sleepover I have extra rooms and a pull out couch ! Plus plenty of room for blow up mattresses and sleeping bags ! I just went Grocery shopping too !
Oak Tree: ooo snacks ! I'm in!
Momma bear( Renee ) I'll go!
Jazzy hands! : are we gonna watch movies? If so I'm in!
Y/N: yes jazzy we will!
Pippa : of course!
Anthony : If jazzy going I'm going !
Lin: can we watch the little mermaid?
Y/N : yesss
IM THE FOOL WHO SHOT HIM(Leslie) : Oo okay I'm in!
Floofy ( Daveed ) sure!
Y/N: okay I'll see y'all at 5!

Yay that went well! I go ahead and start setting up things .. I get the the guest rooms ready and our mattress and sleeping bags ! One room will be for the girls and the other for the boys ! I make some food and get out all the blankets and pillows .. which we have a lot of ! And soon people start getting here in the PJ's !