Song of the Chapter - Home by Phillip Phillips
SHAWN
I'm standing in my driveway. I have no other emotions running through my body other than the anxiety that is dispersing amongst my veins. I should be excited to be home, right? Right. But am I? No. I knew that on the other side of that door, my parents were expecting a lot more out of me than what they're about to get.
Hoping that they're not eagerly awaiting my presence by the door, I softly twist the door handle and walk inside, being careful not to alarm anyone. Thankfully, Aaliyah is sitting on the couch scrolling through Instagram and sipping out of a plastic water bottle.
She whips her head around as I place down my luggage next to the stairs. Instantly, she springs up from the couch and engulfs me in a hug. "I've missed you, brother. How was LA?"
"Horrible," I tell her honestly, pulling her a little closer to me. She's the only one in this family who actually supports whatever I do, especially if I know if it's what's best for me.
Aaliyah parts from the hug and looks at me with sympathetic eyes. "I mean, I know how you're feeling since you texted me every day, but what do you think went wrong with writing the album?"
Out of everyone I knew, she's the one person who knew everything that was going on inside my head, other than myself. Everything about me not writing the album, and especially how I've been since Camila and I broke up.
"I had nothing to inspire me, and music reminded me too much of- of her," I say, and she nods to indicate that she understands.
I pause for a moment and turn my head towards the kitchen. "Are they in there?" I ask her, and she nods again. "I guess I'll go see them. I'll talk to you after."
Aaliyah goes back to the couch and picks up the remote to watch something on the TV. I stare at the entrance that leads to the kitchen and take a deep breath before walking towards it. I have no plan as to what I'm going to say to them, mainly because I'm afraid of what they'll say back to me. Just speak your truth, Shawn.
As my parents appear in front of me, a flash of Valerie's words run through my head. Why do you think you're not telling the truth? The fear of disappointing my mom and dad. If I lie, maybe they'll be proud of the album that I never wrote. I could procrastinate until I actually get it done, and everything will be fine. It obviously won't be fine if I'm lying to them, but it's to save myself from more self-depreciation.
My mom looks up from the soup that she's stirring on the stove and hugs me tighter than she ever has before. Even tighter than after I come home from touring. "You've barely called your dad and I in the past 6 months, Shawn. Are you crazy?"
"I'm sorry, Mom. I've been busy," I lied, and it hurts to know that she worried for all of these months about me. I had all of the time in the world to call, and I never took that opportunity.
My dad just half-smiles at me, and I already knew how angry he was that I didn't check up on them. I hate myself for being so isolated. I never called because I didn't want to face the fact that I wasn't making an album. I didn't think I could face that yet.
"I know you and Camila broke up and that you needed your space, but not even a text? We were worried about you," my dad states. He's more hurt than my mom, I think. His face seems to be sadder than before I left, probably because he was lonely without his son.
All of their accusations cut me like a knife, and I felt the disappointment coming already. I'm not ready for what's coming next. I close my eyes tightly, and hope that I'm dreaming.
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Wonder | SM
Fanfiction"It's weird to think that I could actually go this long without music. It's my therapy. But once I lost my first love, I knew I was doomed. That was until fate led me to the one person who I could tell would bring me back to my passion." "I'm a drea...
