Wonder | SM

Chapter Twelve

Song of the Chapter - Sweet Creature by Harry Styles

SHAWN

Right before I park my car in front of Valerie's complex, Camila's contact pops up on my phone. As if I wasn't already anxious enough, something else could've gone wrong and I'd have to deal with even more disappointment.

"Hello?"

"Hey. I got the 3 of them on board, so you're all set to go up and see her," she tells me, and I'm shocked at how quickly she got everyone up to speed.

"Thank you, Camila. Your help means a lot to me," I say, and she says it's no problem.

Once I get off the phone with her, I lock my car and head into the building. As I entered the lobby, Brian, Sabrina, and Connor were sitting on the couches near the doors. I'm surprised that Connor gave in to all of this, since he wants Valerie just as bad as I do. He gave me a weak smile, and I could tell that he was sad that I was going to fight for her, but I'm sure he knew how I've felt from the beginning.

Without stopping to have a conversation, I took the elevator up to their apartment, and opened the door. It was silent, yet the quiet sound of Valerie sobbing filled my ears. My heart instantly broke knowing what I've done to her. I did this. But, I can't beat myself up for this because I'm going to tell her the truth. She deserves to know.

I softly knock her bedroom door open, and I'm instantly yelled at.

"Not now, Sabrina!" Valerie yelled. Looking at me in her doorway, not a single sound comes from her mouth once she realizes that it's me. She almost faints at the sight of me. I'm the guy who broke her heart just because I'm scared of my feelings.

She was frozen with fear and hatred, so she sat down on her bare mattress to catch her breath. She couldn't even look at me. I wanted to break down and just beg for her forgiveness, but I needed to stay calm and get my point across.

"I know you have nothing to say to me, and I understand if you hate me, but there are some things that you don't know," I come out and say.

"What are you trying to tell me?" Valerie asks, continuing to keep her eyesight away from me.

"I guess I'm trying to say that you don't know the whole truth," I tell her honestly.

She takes a moment to calm down. I give her time because she needs it, and take a second to look at the mess she's made in her room. Her lamp is smashed, her sheets are ripped off of her mattress and spread across the floor, and her dresser is on the ground, her clothes everywhere. I know my effect on her, and I hate it. I wish it was more positive than negative, and I kind of hate myself for doing this to her.

"I know what it looked like back there at the condo, but Camila knows how much I care about you. Not even getting back with her could fix how broken I was when you left me for weeks." Valerie stays silent. "My point is, I was never actually back with her. She could tell that I was off once you left, and I told her that it's always been you. I guess I couldn't face it without torturing myself more and more."

"Is that true?" she asked, breaking her silence and looking up at me for the first time since she said she hated me. I noticed that she was shocked knowing that I've always loved her. I hope she knows that nothing could take this love away.

"I couldn't bring myself to move on because I realized that I could never give what I have for you to anyone else," I continued to admit, somewhat answering her question.

Valerie gets up from her mattress, and my heart rate quickens. She stands in front of me, her bright eyes staring up into mine. I don't hesitate to take her hands into mine, and begin to rub the tops of them with my thumbs. I could tell that it calmed us both down.