If you reached this page, well hi to you! How was it reading my works? Oh, and if you're a grammar-sensitive person, sorry ha-ha! I also re-read it today (10/10/20). And I also did notice my lapses there but I will let it that way. I won't touch it. I love how imperfect those works and how I improved (if there's any) on every chapter or maybe on every piece I wrote.
This has been like a diary to me since the last month of 2016. Every piece I wrote here was my feelings, thoughts, dreams, imaginations, and my art, which were carelessly written. You may not consider this art but I'm claiming it for myself. A friend told me that you need to be the first one to appreciate your works, so I'm starting it today.
While reading my works, here and on tumblr, I realized how careless I was writing it, not thinking of what people may think about the words and composition I put together. Maybe that's the reason why I have so much passion and energy to write back then.
I was here, again for the nth time. I don't know, I like writing everything before, because I love leaving evidences, I love expressing it my own way, because I know for sure that I would love to read these back one day and one of that days is today.
I rarely write these days, I lost all the enthusiasms I had before, I'm still not sure if my burning passion about writing died, because if you'll ask me if I still love writing, I still do. It's just that, it isn't that easy for me anymore, I don't have the same adrenaline as before, I procrastinate a lot. So many changes happened after my college graduation (my four years of exposure to this field were over). I have to be practical in life and focus on what's important without realizing that I'm slowly walking away from the things I used to be so passionate about. Honestly, It saddens me. I feel so weak, it's like I lost something inside me. It's like I'm completely lost in a big world as a whole.
My mom called and she told me to focus on the field I want, but I hope it is that easy. Do you know that feeling when you badly want to be in a certain place you used be before but got no idea on how to actually get there again? It's that kind of lost. Lol, I'm talking too much making this literally a diary. But I've always been this way, I am more comfortable writing it than sharing it to anyone. It may be hard for them to understand me.
So yeah, for the readers, especially those of you who leaves comments, I wanna thank you for taking time. You are the best people! I wish I can have a coffee date with you and tell you that we are all enough and we're worth it! I'm not closing, nor this is a goodbye message. In fact, I'm planning to be bold and careless here again. I just wish I would have the courage to write again and when that time comes, I wish my words will meet you here one more time.
Shining through the city with a little funk and soul,
Lea.