Lethal Ways Not To Kill Yourself

Fears and Forbidden thoughts 7 : Kal

I had never run so fast.

Eli and Alex shouted how they saw a ghost in front of them and ran in unison. I wish they just ran in the same direction; it would have made it easier for me to explain why I ran only behind Eli.

I have no explanation. I had witnessed his face turn from a glowing bubble of inquisitive energy to a hardened marble, cracking piece by piece.

It was hard for me to keep with him, considering how fast he ran. My spectacles were slipping thanks to the sweat and shoving them in my pocket gave Eli enough time to dissolve in the dark.

I stopped near a roundabout, and my eyes were about to clean the floor. The sweat dripped down and washed the dirt off the road. My mouth wasn't enough to take in all the air and my lungs stopped shaking hands with my heart, which was beating out of control.

Asthma and low haemoglobin were beating my head, reminding me how my lungs and blood sucked at being what they are.

He must be in the park, my mind ran faster than I could, as I headed towards the park near the Deli. I don't know why I felt he was there, but my mind was too tangled in this chaotic mess that I wanted to throw up (it could be the sushi too, I have no clue)

It was crazy how the lush green ambience that bloomed heaven in the day time was conjuring up creatures of creep at night in the park. The shining eyes of the tree, the insect humanity hasn't even named, the crickets chirping to the synth of dogs howling-

Okay, I agree, I am a tad bit scared. Not much, just a tad bit.

Anyway, the park was enormous and there were a gazillion places for him to hide or have a duel with the alleged ghost. I had no clue as to where to begin. The washroom? Maybe nature called him after to make sure he was alright? Or maybe he is digging his own grave?

Look, I don't fucking know. Why did that fucktard have to run away in the middle of the night when there are lethal ways to die that include homicide and extortion and kidnapping? I can't help if my brain chooses to crack a joke here and there to release—

Wait for a second, how can I forget this?

Like a spark in a tunnel full of darkness, it clicked to me instantly how predictable Eli is. It didn't even take me half a year's interaction to make out that he hates questions related to sports, how he secretly enjoys broccoli (he picks all the pieces from Alex) and of course, how could I forget this?

He is still a kid at heart.

I fired up the flashlight on my phone and tried to locate the map stand of the park. It was my sharpened luck that the map stand was near to where I was standing. Flashing the light, I tried to find the nearest children's playground.

With that information, I had to turn a blind eye to my already deafened senses, my lungs could hardly catch up with the pace and my heart was about bruise my ribcage.

With that, Eli was right there, swinging all by himself on the swing.

I don't know if I am colour blind or photosensitive but it seemed like Eli was pulling in all the darkness and light alike. I don't know if it was some sort of glow that he radiated but I realised why people are so nuts about blackholes looking ethereal. A mass of nothing sucking in everything, even the light that makes you see what's pulling it in. It was weird really, or maybe I am trippy. Everything around him, the darkness was just mingling with the glow, soft and pristine. Like darkness and light always danced hand in hand, one was never the absence of another; they make each other's presence realised.

I shook my head hard as if doing so would eliminate my foggy vision and even more fogged thoughts. I had never seen Eli in his most vulnerable; it was kind of bizarre and unnerving to find him this way.