Never Too Late

Yuletide and the Call of Duty

The days that followed were completely silent between Mastavian and Briggan. Quite literally, not a single word escaped their lips to the other. The air grew unbearably heavy, but neither of them did anything to ease the tension. They spent much more time apart during this period than the entire time they knew each other. Briggan had even started sleeping on the couch while Mastace took the bed, in a quietly begrudging manner. Mastace hated to see Briggan like this, but he had no idea how to approach the inevitably uncomfortable conversation they obviously desperately needed to have.

It was the night of Christmas Eve, and Briggan skulked into the bedroom. Mastace was dead asleep, and that suited him just fine. Briggan sat beside his sleeping mate, careful not to disturb his slumber. Watching the semi-peaceful expression on the lion's face, Briggan was finally compelled to speak the first words he permitted in almost a week.

"I'm so sorry, my love. I'm lost and have no idea where to go and no clue about what to do." he whispered.

"Then perhaps you should ask someone to help you find your way."

Mastace wasn't asleep. Briggan had been fooled once again.

The lion sat up and smiled ruefully. "It's about time you came to me, sweetie. I'd begun to wonder if you had let your devils defeat you."

Briggan sat in silence as he gathered his thoughts and carefully considered every choice of words.

"They almost did."

"What kept them from doing so?"

"Honestly, I don't know. I'm so scared, Mastace. The blackout episode shook me to my core. What if I snapped and did the same to you? What if... What if you're not safe with me? What if I seriously hurt you? I'd never forgive myself if I'm the reason you have to lay in a hospital bed."

Mastace just let the words fall upon his ears, soaking in everything. When Briggan had spilled everything, he nodded.

"I thought about those same things. What if you did, and I wasn't able to protect you? What if I fail you? Those are the kinds of questions I ask myself all the time. What if I fail you not only as a friend, but as a mate and member of our family? Even though these things always try to plague me, I can't allow those types of thoughts to inhibit my ability to be there for you. I try every day to put my demons aside so I can focus on someone much more important than my own self-pity. You."

"Mastace, I never knew that you..."

"I know. And it's something I'd battled successfully against for a while. Only recently did it ever gain any ground, even if a miniscule amount."

"I'm sorry for letting this come between us."

"You needed to sort this thing out, I get that. Just... please don't push me away like that again. If you need space, you can ask me. I hate the cold shoulder, ya know."

"Alright then, hon. You got it." Briggan gave his feline mate a gentle nuzzle and a even softer kiss.

"So, does that mean I can have my boyfriend back?" Mastace joked.

Briggan giggled. "Of course, babe. You can have your boyfriend back."

The two laid down and began cuddling up to each other, still in their full daytime attire. "Good," Mastace said, his voice dipped in a light purr. "I missed him."

"I missed you too, Mastace."

"Merry Christmas, babe."

"Merry Christmas."

Waking up the next morning meant nothing other than the pure joy and closeness he'd come to so very desperately rely on without remorse. Mastace was right beside him, the lion's arms wrapped protectively around his body. He found that he'd been waking up before Mastace very consistently lately and that was okay. That meant more time he could relish in the company of his lover in silence. He didn't know why, but he found a very temporary silence such as this to he highly therapeutic. So, he enjoyed it when it happened naturally as much as he could.