say that you love me

thirteen

"Harry?"

He stepped out from the dark into the light, giving a small nod.

"Where are you going?" He whispered, stepping closer to me but not too close, just enough so we could see and hear each other.

"Nowhere, I just couldn't sleep and I needed some air" I quickly whisper back.

"You're going to see Malfoy aren't you?"

I scoff, crossing my arms as we lock eyes.

"Why does it matter? It has nothing to do with you Harry"

"Of course it does, it has a lot to do with me Y/n" He steps closer.

"And why would you think that?"

"Because-" he started, sighing and looking away. He shook his head, running his fingers through his hair before looking at me again. "you know what, have a nice night and a nice time with him".

I stood there in disbelief, feeling him walk past me. I feel tears begin to form, turning my hands into fists before I turn to watch him.

"You can't do this to me Harry, you and I both know what this is. I have loved you for years and I'm done waiting for something that I know won't happen. I have come second to Ginny and Cho for so long and I'm not going to be a second choice for you Harry. I'm sorry but I won't do it, I can't do it. Not for this long. I'm not going to be your second choice anymore Harry" I spoke out, feeling the tears stream down my face quickly. I wipe them away and watch as Harry steps closer. I shook my head, walking away from him and the common room.

I stand outside of the gryffindor tower, wiping my tears away for a few minutes. I hear footsteps come closer then look up to see Draco. He carefully pulls me towards him, feeling his arms wrap around me. I begin to sob, hugging him tightly. We stood there in almost complete silence for another few minutes.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He spoke softly.

I shake my head as I slowly pull away from his embrace, "no I'll be okay" I whisper, looking up into his eyes, giving a small smile. "How'd you know I'd be here?"

He chuckled as he took my hand before we began to walk away, "well when I didn't see you in the Astronomy tower I figured you'd be around there" He shrugged, smiling at me.

As we reached our destination we both sat down close to each other. We talked about nonsense for most of the time we were there, but at times we talked about what was going on in our lives.

After two hours Draco dropped me off outside of the entrance. He pulled me in for another embrace, kissing me for a few minutes.

"Goodnight Y/n" he whispered, taking my hand.

"Goodnight Draco" I whispered back, smiling up at her as he kissed the top of my hand. I watched as he walked away before going back into the common room.

I sat there for a while, thinking of what had occurred previously, flashbacks of us arguing, flashbacks of Draco and I together.

The next morning Hermione and I walk to the great hall for breakfast, sitting across from each other. I look over towards the end of the table and notice Ron and Harry sitting there. I look away once Harry and I made eye contact.

"Care to explain why they're not sitting with us?" Hermione asks as she pushes her plate away.

"I may have told Harry that I love him last night, we sort of got into a little fight" I say back quietly so the people around us wouldn't eavesdrop.

"Wait you got into a fight because you said you love him?"

"No and yes"

"Y/n, that doesn't make sense"

I sigh and stand up, grabbing my book bag. She does the same.

"He caught me sneaking out and he figured out I was lying while I told him my excuse on why I was leaving the room. He realized I was going to see Draco and he got upset. I told him I wasn't going to be a second choice and more but that's sort of what went down last night" I explained as we walked to potions.

"Well I'm sorry that happened but I know you guys will make up, but I hope it's soon because for one we're all sitting together in class and we have the meeting today".

"Merlin you're right I completely forgot that was today" I groan, leaning against the wall as we waited for Snape to arrive.

Hermione nudged me gently as Harry and Ron began to walk closer. I stood up straight, looking away from them for a minute. Eventually I look at Ron giving him a small smile and nod. He smiles back before looking at Hermione then Harry.

Once the door opened the four of us sat around a table that had cauldrons on them. I look up as I hear Draco laughing along with his friends. We lock eyes as he walks in, causing the both of us to smile. Then I did something I would regret. I looked at Harry and watched as he glared at Draco then at me.

As class went by Harry and I were forced to speak to each other at times but for most of it I just spoke to Hermione and Ron.

After class I watch as Ron pushed Harry towards me. I look at him before looking down to grab my book bag, letting it hang from my shoulder.

"yes Harry?" I look up at him again, watching as he looked away from me.

"I was wondering if we could talk"

I sigh and look over at Hermione who was nodding at me.

I look at him again, and cross my arms "I suppose we can".

Walking out of Snape's class that morning was the most uncomfortable feeling I have ever felt. We were quiet, avoiding eye contact, and just all around awkward around each other which was such a strange feeling for both of us.

We walked to the courtyard and sat down around the fountain, still not looking at each other until

"I'm sorry about last night. I had no reason to get into that with you Y/n. It was selfish of me to think that I'd be able to stop you from seeing him but I want you to know one thing. You're not a second choice. You'd always be my first choice"

I look at him and watch as he slowly turned to look at me.

"I don't know what to say Harry, I want to believe you but it's hard"

"I don't expect you to believe me. I know that I messed up and I know that I'm too late, but I have always felt something for you Y/n. I just haven't been ready"

"But you're ready for Cho?"

"I'm not sure if I'm ever going to be ready for anyone. All I know is that I have these feelings all mixed up because I know that I want you, but I also know that I may want something with Cho".

"Harry and I already told you I'm not going to be your second choice" I look away from him, trying to fight whatever urge was trying to come out of me.

"Don't you understand Y/n I can't have you, you're not a choice to begin with" And with that Draco came.

"What's going on here?" He asked as he looked at me, then glared at Harry.