say that you love me

seventeen

Hermione stayed with me throughout the rest of the evening, checking up if I was too quiet. 

Eventually Harry and Ron walked into the common room, they sat with us and began to talk to Hermione. I sat there not really paying much attention to what they were talking about, hoping that they wouldn't ask me anything. Harry noticed that I was distracted and gave a small nudge.

"Are you okay?" he whispered, I looked up at him and nodded.

"I just need some air" I whispered back, slowly standing up. Harry did the same, fixing his glasses.

"So do I, want to go?"

I looked at Hermione and watched as she nodded, persuading me to say yes to him.

"Sure, let's go" 

Harry and I walked out of the common room, heading out. We were quiet at first, not knowing what to say.

"Are you okay?" he looked at me, giving a concerned look.

I thought about what I was going to say next, letting a sigh out. 

"I ended things with Draco today"

He gave a shocked expression, "I don't want to sound narcissistic but, did you do it because of me?"

"Part of it is because of you, for him, and for myself. I need to really think about what I'm doing and I don't want to feel like I'm dragging you or him along on this. I care about both of you and I have love for both of you. I just need to sort out what I'm doing next before starting anything new in my life"

He nodded, glancing over at me for a second before looking straight ahead as we continued to walk. 

We stayed quiet for a while, not much to say just enjoying each other's company that night. We got weird looks from people of course and it wouldn't take long before rumors would soon 

"You know, what you did today was really strong. I hope that you find what you're searching for"

I looked up at him and smiled softly, I wrapped my arms around him tightly, feeling him wrap his around me. 

We stood there for a while in silence, enjoying each other's embrace. It felt like nobody was around and we were the last two people there. It was something that I needed for a while. I needed this from my best friend, even if it did mean nothing, at least for now. I felt safe, and even though I was unsure of what I wanted, I knew that being there with him was the right thing.

We walked back to the common room, not really knowing what to say to each other afterwards, it wasn't a bad silence, it was a necessary silence. At least for me.

"Y/n I'm going up to the dorms, wanna come with?" Hermione asked. 

"Yeah that sounds good" I nodded before turning towards Harry. We looked at each other for a second before I pulled him into an embrace. 

"Thank you" I whispered, pulling away afterwards.

I walked over to Ron, pulling him into an embrace too.

"You and I are talking tomorrow" he whispered, rubbing my back gently. I laughed softly and gave him a nod before I walked away with Hermione.

Once we walked upstairs towards the dorms she sat on my bed, looking up at me.

"What did he say?"

I chuckled, sitting down next to her giving a small shrug.

"He just wanted to make sure I was okay" 

She smiled, almost squealing as she covered her mouth. 

"Shut up" I pushed her jokingly, watching as she laid on the bed. 

"How are you feeling?"

I shrugged, laying down next to her. 

"I don't know, I miss them both but I'm trying to make things good for myself. Do I sound selfish?"

She shook her head, sitting up as she looked back at me

"No, it's what's best for you and you need a break from them".