Demon of my Heartstrings

Nineteen: There Was Never Trust

-Cordelia-

I don't know why I ran from Sirius, it's not like its new to see him act like an asshole. I mean yeah this guy kidnapped me and wanted to kill me and this Amelia girl, but Michael and Gabriel explained everything. I get it, he was hurting and felt betrayed but it still didn't give him the right to kidnap others. I can't completely forgive the guy, he did want to kill us for pete sakes! I lean against the wall as I watch Micahel talk with Amelia as Gabriel heals the guy. Jessamyn is with Chax whose burying Zakary whose now free of the puppeteer. We didn't get him, he disappeared the moment everyone appeared into the room, but he left Zaks body behind. Which is great because now we can give him a proper burial. I didn't know what to do so I stayed over here out of everyone's way.

I couldn't seem to think straight. I mean, Sirius did confess that he loved me right? That's a big deal, but how do I know if he really meant it and not just saying it? I don't want to get my hopes up and then find out he didn't even mean it at all. I hate that I feel this way. I never act this way, it feels almost wrong to me that it makes me feel weird. I feel like my personality changed so much and don't know how to think about it. People change, but do they change this quickly and because of somebody? I don't know. I'm used to being by myself all the time, and now I have friends and a soulmate who I can't tell if I love or not. I'm just conflicted and I hate it!

"Cordelia?"

I snap out of my thoughts and look over to see Amelia standing there. I push myself off of the wall before giving her a small smile. So this girl is Michael's soulmate? I thought surprised. I didn't think angels could get soulmates, then again demons do so why not angels.

"Uh hi Amelia right?" I ask awkwardly.

"Yes, um so I guess this is strange to ask but I just wanted to know something." Amelia says twiddling her thumbs.

"Okay, what is it?" I ask with a raised eyebrow.

"You've been soulmates with a demon for a year now right?" Amelia asks quickly.

"Uh yes?" I ask more like a question.

"My soulmate is an angel apparently, but I don't know if I have to become an angel to be with him or if he loses his title to be with me. Did you have to become a demon or does your soulmate loses his power to be with you?" Amelia asks waiting for an answer.

I blink at her as I have no idea how to answer her question. I thought if Sirius and I wanted to be together I can just stay human while he keeps being a demon. I never thought that one of us have to give up something, and I already know that Sirius would make me give up my mortal life. I open my mouth to give her some sort of answer when Michael comes over. I let out a breath of relief that he intervene in the conversation.

"Amelia I should get you home." Michael says not looking her in the eyes.

"Oh. Um, okay. What's going to happen to Cordelia?"  Amelia asks looking over at me.

"What you mean?" I asked furrowing my eyebrows.

"I mean, aren't you going back home as well?" Amelia asks a matter of fact.

The word home struck me like a ton of logs landed on me. I miss my home but I can't go back there, there's nothing to even go back too. It's all rummage, everything is gone, everything burned to a crisp and here I am with the very demons who've done it. Who's killed, my parents. Why? Is it really because I had nowhere else to go, or is it because Sirius is my soulmate? I don't know anymore, but I can't blame him or even Cristobal forever. Cris isn't even a demon anymore. It would be wrong to bring this up now since he's not even a demon anymore. Right?