Rosie || h.s.

1.7- Harry

I was going in-fucking-sane.

she lay asleep on my shoulder, hand in mine. eyelashes on her cheeks light as feathers against her freckles.

I was holding her fucking hand.

and I fucking loved it.

I didn't think I could sleep with her head on my shoulder, I didn't want to forget any of this.

she was in my clothes, in my bed, holding my hand, resting on my fucking shoulder. what the fuck was going on with me?

she had a piece of hair on her brow and lightly I let my finger brush it behind her ear trying not to wake her as I did. the skin on her hand so soft under my thumb brushing on the back of her hand.

but sleep was getting the better of me, my eyes closing and then snapping open wide when in her sleep she moved her other hand on my chest, face so very close to my neck. all I could do was hold my breath as she sighed in slumber.

her strawberry smelling hair overruling my senses, breath tickling my neck. her other hand on my chest in a tiny weak fist, I could smell my body wash on her.

I slowly let my other arm go around her body, hugging her a bit closer to me, and in her sleep she nestled closer nose brushing behind my ear, sending bolts of electricity down my arm.

id never held a girl like this before, I mean I had hugged her but it was before I had come to terms with knowing I liked her, now I knew it, now I wanted to be so very very close to her. now I could enjoy it.

is this what other people felt when in a 'relationship' if that's even what this really was seeing as we talked nothing of it. did people get this overwhelmingly calm, this weird new kind of happy?

I didn't think I deserved how nice she was to me. she has every reason to want to run away. I had made a reputation for myself, I went to parties, I drank, I slept around, I was never known for being nice to others. I wasn't the best person and god was she the fucking best. I hadnt even noticed her for crying out loud. I was so wrong for her, she deserved someone other than me, someone, worthy.

not even as I lay with her, her chest rising and falling against my side. as my arm was wrapped around her, I felt so evil as if I was ruining her. I was taking away her firsts when I knew I shouldn't have been that person to do it.

I stole her fucking first kiss right from her, I didn't deserve it. even if I liked it so fucking much I didn't think it should have been me.

I was so scared of hurting her, or doing something wrong, ruining her firsts. she hadnt said her first kiss was bad but what if it was, I fucking made it bad if it was. she needed someone who knew what he was doing, knew how to treat her how she deserved to be treated.

and I knew I should have let her go but I couldnt do it, not when she felt so good in my arms.

I fell asleep with those thoughts feeling horrible but being selfish because fuck I loved the way she made me feel.

I woke to her flexing her fingers in my hand. opening my eyes to see her own fluttering slightly.

"What time is it?" she asked, morning voice so fucking hot.

our comfortable position is broken up as we both sat up, fingers coming undone for the first time since they were brought together. it was over too soon. I rolled over to look at my phone, we had only been asleep for two hours now six in the morning.

"I have to get dressed," she whispered face flushed red as she rubbed at her eyes.

"ill drive you home and come back to pick you up," I sate already trying to find my shoes, I'd fallen asleep in my jeans, not the best feeling but even for two hours of sleep, I've never felt more rested.

and when I pulled up to her driveway to drop her off she sat in my clothes still and muttered, "thank you harry really, I shouldn't have called you so late but I dont regret it now," she unbuckled her belt about to leave when I spoke up.

"Rosie?" and she turned to me with wide brown eyes looking for the question I was about to ask. "can I kiss you again?"

she eyes moving back and forth between my own and my lips.

"I dont know why I want to so often, but fuck Rosie there is something about you that I can't stop thinking about. you can call me at any fucking time in the day for anything and ill be sure to go to you when you want me, need me. and I dont expect anything in return, not ever."

"But you're asking to kiss me," but she shakes her head, "that came out wrong sorry, what I wanted to say is, you dont have to ask me because I think ill always want to kiss you too,"

I lean over my thumb brushing her soft freckled cheek, she leans into my hand eyes watching me as I place my nose against hers.

"Harry?" voice light as she looks into my eyes, all the colors of brown beautifully represented in front of me.

"Rosie?"

"im scared," and I feel chills run down my back I moved to pull away try to fix anything I was doing wrong when she placed her hand over my own. "not of you, never of you, im scared that I like you too much,"

I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders at her words, I knew I felt the exact same way, that maybe I was a little too invested, a little obsessed with her, and yet I didn't care not now when she was right here so fucking close to kissing me. "im scared too Rosie,"

"you are?" and I nod into her a chuckle leaving my lips.

"all the fucking time but I do know that im okay with it because it's you,"

the pace of her breathing changes almost the slightest but I notice it. she leans forward only a bit, lips brushing mine, so soft. she wraps her arms around my neck and our lips are moving perfectly in sync.

I never knew something like this could feel so good.

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