Rosie || h.s.

5.3- Harry

she looked so weak in the hospital bed. sitting up against a stack of pillows. 

the visible parts of her skin from the hospital gown either covered in bandages or bruises. a blanket over her lower half, I focused on it not wanting to make it obvious I was staring at her. filling with anger and worry. 

I'd never wanted to kill anyone but this felt like something to kill over. 

her left cheek was a dark purple, those fresh bruises mixed with red. she had two stitches over her bottom lip, her hair a mess around her. her eyes looked dead, puffy, and red from what I assumed was crying, and yet she had no tears left to give. 

she had a bandage on her neck bruises following along her fragile skin. 

I stood there with the door closed behind me and wanted to fall right to my knees at the sight of her. I was suddenly overrun with grief, with pain. here was the love of my life, brutally assaulted and I didn't know what to fucking do, what to fucking say. I didn't know how to wrap my head around all of this. only hours ago none of this had happened, been in anyone mind. 

he could have been thinking about it, shit like this doesn't just happen randomly. not without thought. 

I felt my fists ball at the thought. about how I had been kept from that house, how that morning I had stopped by, watched her spin in the driveway showing me her dress, let my hands flutter in her hair, brushing over the little golden clips I loved. how she had kissed me with a smile and then pulled away pouting over how she hated that I couldn't come to her dinner.  

"Maybe I'll sneak you in?"

"oh yeah? want me to climb through your window?"

"would you?" she had asked hand running up my shirt and finding its way into my hair. 

"I do anything you wanted me to do,"

now here I was in this fucking hospital room. 

"I'm sorry," her voice small as she said it, weak and frail. the words surprising me. 

"w-what?" 

"I'm sorry for making you cry," she muttered words falling with a little lisp from her stitches. 

I raised a hand brushing at my cheek. I was crying and I hadn't even realized it. "it's not your fault,"

she huffed a small laugh, something not even really a laugh but something to fill the space. "I made fletcher cry to,"  

"it's not your fault," I repeated moving to the edge of her bed trying to wipe at my eyes as best as I could. 

she didn't say anything as I looked at her covered legs, wondered what other damage max had caused her, wondered what would suffice to make him pay doubly for what he had done. 

"I still can't move them," she whispered, voice seeming to grow smaller over the confession. 

I could feel myself shaking, balling my fists I tried to make it less noticeable. but she knew, she knew everything about me. 

"I'm so-"

"don't," she cut me off a small shake of her head causing her to wince. "don't apologize," 

"bu-"

"please harry,"

it shut me up, and I nodded not continuing. 

she sighed then took in a deep breath before wincing, "why do you smell like-" she cut herself off closing her eyes. 

"I went to that party and I drank a bit," 

"could you..." she shook her head squeezing her eyes shut a bit more before saying, "could you step back from the bed, please," 

I felt my throat tighten and I listened taking a few steps back. she didn't even open her eyes as she lifted her head, bottom lip quivering as she tried not to hold back her tears. my nails digging into my palms, I bit my inner lip hard. 

"I'm so sorry," she broke, tears falling as she let her head hang, "I'm so sorry, so sorry," I took a step forward wanting so badly to reach out to her and when I did she raised a hand to her nose shaking her head. "please harry don't," words muffled as she cried, cried harder than I had ever seen her cry before and all I could do was look at her, want so badly to c comfort her and yet here she was pushing me away and id never want to push her more. 

"Rosie-," 

"you smell," she cried voice torn with sobs, I looked down at my shirt, I had a small stain on my clothes someone had run into me with a wine cooler but it had dried by the time I came here. 

I didn't know what to say, what could I say right now, nothing would;l make this better nothing would fix this not now when she was here in this bed, covered in the marks max had left on her. not when it had only happened hours before, when the drugs still weren't out of her system. nothing would make this better, nothing I could do could fix this. 

"I'm so sorry," she cried body shaking as she hunched over herself, I took another step forward, her head shaking, she squeezed her eyes shut again, "please harry," 

"you have nothing to be sorry for Rosie," but every word I was saying was complete bullshit I didn't know what to say didn't know how to act. I wanted to do so much but my body was numb, my chest was swelling, my throat tight and dry. I couldn't wrap my mind around this, this was as if it was a movie. why the fuck was this happening. 

all the bad things catching up to you

but what could I have done that was bad enough to cause this, to ruin the one good thing in my life, the one person who was so much more to me than I truly could understand. 

"please leave," words mumbled as she said them, her hands covering her face. 

my heart was ripping from my chest, breaking as I watched her now, so small, so broken.

"I'm so sorry," she cried, "but please harry, i-i thought I could do this but I can't, I can't," 

and all I could say was, "it's okay, you don't have to apologize," as I turned to leave, trying so hard to ignore the sound of her sobs as I closed the door behind me. 

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