Edelweiss || Bucky x Reader

Chapter Seven

"But he left me a note telling me- and he said that you were sorry and that you'd miss me."

"Yeah..." Bucky drops his hands from my shoulders. "I went to his place after...you know...for a drink. And to say goodbye. I asked him to tell you that. Figured you'd had enough of me. But he didn't say anything about being enlisted." He looks at me. "I'm really sorry, Y/N. This can't be easy for you."

I look off to the side. It isn't, and I wish he hadn't brought that part up.

"I don't want to talk about it." I say quietly.

I feel him staring at me so I turn to face him again, meeting his eyes. He's got a sad smile on his face. He puts a hand back on my shoulder as he says, "Let's get you settled in."

...

We sit in the tent that had been assigned to me. It's small, but I'm lucky enough to have it to myself, so I'm not complaining. Bucky and I sit on the cot together as he unzips my bag.

"Packed light, huh?" He says, pulling out the book, leaving the spare uniform inside. He flips it over to see the title. "The Hobbit?" He asks with a soft laugh. "This is Steve's favorite."

"I know," I say. "It's actually his copy. That's why I brought it." I lean against Bucky's sides as he flips through the pages. Steve had written little notes in the margins, just like all his other books. We read them together, laughing at how in-depth they are.

He looks at me and smiles gently. "He'll be ok."

I inhale sharply and sit up, pulling away from him. I really don't want to talk about this.

"You say that, but I don't think you believe it." I say quietly, after a moment.

He doesn't say anything, just sighs and loops his arm around my shoulders, pulling me back into him. We sit like that for a while, both deeply afraid for my brother.

...

Bucky eventually had to leave me, but not before a tight hug and a promise he'd see me later.

I'm in the hospital tents now, with the other girls. We're being told where we were needed. In the city, I had specialized in surgeries, assisting the doctors. So here, I'll be doing the same.

Most of our men are already in the camp, so there isn't a surplus of surgeries that need attending to, which means I get to go back to my tent for a real night's sleep.

In the morning, I eat breakfast in the mess hall and then go straight to work, where Lucy is waiting for me.

"So, who is he?" She asks, arms crossed, with an innocent smile on her face.

"Who, Bucky?" I ask, amused. "He's my closest friend. Him, my brother, and I— we were always together back home."

She laughs. "Honey, that man does not look at you like a friend does."

"You're crazy." I say smiling, shaking my head.

"Maybe so," She shrugs. "but I'm not blind."

We're forced to go to our separate stations, but her words sit with me. Does Buck really see me as anything more than a friend? The idea seems so implausible, I almost dismiss it right away. But it gives me a feeling I haven't felt in a long time. I don't quite know myself what it is, but it feels... lovely. Warm, even welcoming. I've dated a few boys before, but Steve and Bucky never really approved. For the longest time I thought it was just because Buck saw me as a little sister, but now I'm not so sure.

...

Oh, what am I on about. 

He's my best friend.

I don't have the time to think about it now anyway, a small group of soldiers has come back from a mission, and two of them are in rough shape. "On the brink of death" is probably a better description. One of the men has to have his arm amputated. He had been hit close range by a grenade. This is the surgery I'm assisting.

It's awful. I'll never unsee him laying there, slipping in and out of consciousness, half of his arm blown off. The procedure takes hours. A day that started light-hearted has quickly turned into a twisted nightmarish afternoon and evening. After a while, I get used to looking at the poor soul. But his screams, that'll never be able to block out. And his pleading. Pleading for a death that isn't coming. Praying to a God that isn't listening.

After what feels like an eternity, I and the other two nurses with me were dismissed by the doctor. I go straight to Bucky's tent. He's sitting on his cot, bouncing his leg. He stands as soon as he sees me. There's an anxious look in his eyes. "Hey, I've been hearing that all day, are you alright?" 

I walk straight into his arms, not saying a word. Not shedding a tear.  Feeling nothing is better than feeling this.

Bucky goes quiet. 

"Let's sit." He says softly, guiding me to his cot. I do, and he strokes my hair as I attempt to will myself to a place of numbness.

"Promise me something?" I ask abruptly.

"Anything."

"Don't let me see you in one of those tents."

He smiles weakly. He knows this is an empty promise, and so do I. But I need to hear it.

"Ok." He says. "I promise."