Edelweiss || Bucky x Reader

Chapter Twenty Five

The Commandos have gathered in a circle a little ways from the jet, their usual banter loud enough for everyone to hear. Bucky is leaning up against it's side, arms crossed, looking off at nothing in particular. He perks up at the sound of my and Steve's footsteps, grinning ear to ear when our eyes meet. Steve breaks off to talk to the group while I walk right into his open arms.

"Hello!" He laughs, spinning me around. "You ran away before I got to see you."

"I'm here now, aren't I?" I say as my toes touch the ground.

"Let's keep it that way." He holds my face in his hands, gently kissing my lips. "Steve and I talked."

I raise an eyebrow.

"Again?"

"Yes, again." He continues. "Hush."

"Oh, you are on thin ice, Barnes." I say, only half joking.

"We talked, and we've decided that it's stupid to bench you like this." He says. "You're smart and you're strong, but more importantly, you're part of this team."

"Thank you, love." I smile, though this isn't exactly the direction I thought this was taking.

"BUT." Ah, there it is. "You have to be more careful. I don't want you getting hurt again."

"I think I did alright, considering I had a gun pointed at me and only a couple seconds to work with." I say defensively.

"Is that what happened?" He asks. "You still haven't told me the story."

Huh. He's right, I haven't. I don't think I've talked about it at all. Or thought about it, really. I've just been pushing it down, but I'm trying not to do that anymore, so here goes.

"Alright." I say, taking a breath. "I was walking along the rock formation, almost at it's end, when I thought I heard something behind me. I turned my head to look without stopping and walked into someone's chest. He ended up being a Hydra soldier, and that went about as well as you can imagine. We both raised our guns, I fired first. He just grazed my arm, but my bullet caught him in the neck." I sigh, acting like the whole thing was boring, trying to hide how uncomfortable retelling the story made me. "The end."

"Y/N, why didn't you tell me?" He asks, visibly upset. "That's traumatizing."

"Hold on, aren't you a sniper?" I point out.

"I'm comfortable with a gun and that's much less personal." He says. "You probably had to look this man in the eye as he died."

I did. And that made it very personal. It made me acknowledge the fact that I was choosing to take another person out of this world. Maybe he had a family. Maybe he had friends. At the very least he knew other people and they knew him. And my bullet, my decision to pull my trigger took him away from all of them.

But then I remember his last words.

"Heil Hydra"

Even in his final moments he chose evil. Does that make me any more ok with his death? I don't know if it does.

"I'm alright." I lie.

"Are you?" He asks softly. "You were alright the morning after that nightmare, but the whole night you were talking in your sleep, begging for them to stop hurting you. Are you that kind of alright?"

...

Well shit, Buck

Take a breath.

You're safe.

"Yes." I say quietly.

He pulls me into his chest, holding me tight and reassuringly.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" He smiles that big, bright, stupidly handsome smile that I love so much.