i want to get better

9 2 0
                                    

Fayth's pov

It's been 3 days since Brianna has been at the psychiatric hospital. It is now Tuesday. I starting smoking with Ashton yesterday.

I hate myself. I cannot get over how fat I am. I havent eaten in like 3 days. I dont ever want to eat again. At dinner I hide food in a napkin or in my pocket. I ddont want to eat. I feel so nasty whenever I take a bite of food. I look like a beach ball.

Today luke is taking me out.

I get ready and about a half an our later i get a text saying luke is here.

I go out to Luke's car and give him a kiss.

Hey babe. You wanna grab something to eat first? He asks

Um you can. I'm not hungry. I say

He gives me a sad look.

Baby. Mikey told me how you said your eating disorder is getting worse. Please try to eat babe. Luke says

Baby. I cant. If I do I wont forgive myself. Please dont make me. I say

Just get a milkshake please? He asks

Okay. I say

When we get to McDonald's I order a strawberry milkshake.  When I get it I instantly feel sick. I cant do this. I think to myself.

Please take a sip baby luke says as he runs my hand.

I take a sip and I feel like I'm gonna throw up. I push my milkshake towards luke and run out. Once I get out side I sit on the curb and start hyperventilating. I start sobbing. I hear the door open and luke yells my name.

Luke's pov

Fayth took one sip of the milkshake and ran out. I get up and follow after her.

Fayth! I shout as I walk out the door.

I hear sobs coming fayth. I run over towards her and sit down.

Oh baby, what's wrong? I asl.

I cant do it. She says through hiccups.

Baby you can. I say

I cant luke. I tried and I feel disgusting. I'm sorry. I cant. She starts to cry again.

I pull her close and hug her.

Fayth everything is okay. You tried. That's all that matters. I'm proud of you for trying. You are so fucking strong. I told you I'm gonna help you. I promised I wouldn't give up. I say

I love you luke. She says

I love you too angel. I say

Can I try to drink a little bit more? I wanna get better. She looks me in the eyes

Of course baby. I say and give her a hug.

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