Feels Like Home | A Lizkook AU

15.

It felt good...fuck that - it felt awesome! Jungkook can't help his relieved smile of being able to finally tell someone about his past. It's not everything, of course...and most of the wicked things are still being kept in the dark - but this is the first time that he actually talked about Mr and Mrs Kim, and he felt a little liberated in that sense. Someone other than himself would know eomma Kim...and remember her as this kind, loving mother. He hopes Lisa sees her the way he did.

But when he turned to face her worried face, the hope slowly dissipates. Her look is somewhat pitiful - as if she feels sorry for him - which is not at all what he wanted. Her eyes are glistening and it looked like she cried. 

Was it...too sad for her? Or is she scared of him now? She only knew half of it and she's already afraid...where is this really going? 

"You're so strong...I bet she is too,"

Oh...Jungkook flashed her a fake smile. That's far from true...on my part at least! 

Despite the chill and revelation of his past, she's still being kind. She's still here and it's all that matters, right? Yes...for now, that's all that matters. 

...

Everything became more obvious to her once Jungkook had revealed his background. Suddenly every single actions made perfect sense. Like how he would automatically dipped his head down when he enters a shop - as if he didn't want people to remember his face. The way he stood or sat still when in a crowded room. He's obviously not used to being around people and now she knew why. Jeju fits perfectly in the puzzle now and she felt stupid for misunderstanding all of his remarks from that night at the cliff.

She wondered if there's any comfort she can provide to him...something that would somehow mend the hole in his life. It must've been so lonely for him to carry so much that he had no control of. Lisa couldn't even imagine living without her parents and he lost two. She could sense that it wasn't even half of the things he has, burdening on his mind, but she didn't mind. She wanted to know...only what's good enough in his heart for her to know. 

They had talked and joked more after, which had become amazingly easier. They walked some more without an idea or purpose of where they were going, but it felt nice. The randomness of meeting Jungkook alone is nice. She bought him an ice-cream along their way and watching him pick out the flavour was cute. Chocolate mint - she kept that in mind. 

At this point, Lisa considered herself lucky to have met him. Of course, walking by his side gave her that sense of pride - even if they're not holding hands and there's no way of her claiming him as her own. It's really hard not to notice other women staring at him. But there's also those dangerously fitting quality about the guy...his shy smile and the concerns showing in his frowns - as if he's carefully thinking about what to do or what to say next. The fact that he didn't want the attention made him even more attractive...for some reason!

Both are now hungry and had stopped by a restaurant. She pointed on this place as she liked the gomtang here but as they stood in front of the queueing line, she realized how it may not be the best idea. He already had his hands in his pockets - probably a way to calm himself for the busy and bustling crowd inside. It makes her feel bad.

"Do you um..." She turned to him all of a sudden. Just wing it! "Do you wanna just take-away? We can eat at my place...or yours - whichever you're more comfortable with,"

...

His apartment is a studio. It's very...neat...and minimal. There aren't much furniture around. The first thing she saw as he led her into the space is his bed, framed on the platformed flooring. It made her nervous. On her left are 3 computers on a long table - with what she assumed are neatly stacks of paperworks - then a small wardrobe and a full-sized mirror. The balcony is covered with a black, sheer curtain - with the sliding door replacing the entire wall.