With love , Draco.

Mistake Pov. Draco

Tessa Leaved and the second the door closed ,I started to get mad .
I didn't want her to leave, and I didn't want this night to be ruined .

I didn't know what I was more mad about - The fact I got drunk and allowed myself to actually go with my feeling or the fact that even when I did , it was ruined because of those two idiots that now stand here in front of me .

Crabb sat on the bed and Goyle joined him .

"So what did this Mudblood want from you Draco ? " Crabb asked .

I got even more mad as he said it , And I clenched my fists .

"Why does this girl have such a big effect on me ?"

I Didn't knew what to say , Clearly they suspected already .

"Nothing. She just came here to give me something . "

"What did she give you ?"

"Shut up already you stupid creature "

"It is not your business , and keep your mouths closed .
You didn't see her here, She never was here . Is that clear ? "

"You know Draco , It's just strange that we come here and see- "

I think that Goyle didn't understand me , He clearly didn't get the point.

"Goyle, is there something wrong ? " I looked at him .

Crabb elbowed him and he nodded .

"Great , Now tell me why you came here ?"

"We told you already , Charlotte came to us and asked if we know where are you "

"And that is the reason my night was ruined ? Charlotte ? you gotta be kidding me"

"I see, Do you need something else ? "

"No, we thought maybe-"

"Get out. "

"What ?"

"Didn't you hear me ? I said GET OUT! "

They Quickly left and I stayed there alone with my thoughts .

"If someone will find out about what happened tonight I'm screwed .
I slept with a Gryffindor Girl .

 I slept with a Mudblood.

I have feelings for a Mudblood. 

I am a Slytherin that fell in love with a Gryffindor . 

My father , My family - They will never accept it.
And the Lord , Oh my god - He chose me ! I have a mission ! How could I ? "

I punched the wall .

"Why you Tessa ? Why did you do this to me ?
How do I get rid of those feelings right now ?
How I end this ? How ? "

I punched the wall again .

"Tessa I Fucking in love with you ! "

I punched the wall again and this time my hand began to bleed .

I looked at it - "See ? That is what you are making me do."

I came into the little bathroom and turned on the water tap , I started to wash my hand as I felt the cold water .

I looked at the mirror ,

"Look at you Draco, So weak .

How are you even supposed to kill Dumbledor if you can't even turn your feelings for this Mudblood off?

She's making you weak and vulnerable Draco , you have to stay away from her ! "

My thoughts kept running inside my head and I couldn't handle this anymore ,
I came back to the room , finished the bottle of Whisky and fell asleep .

When I woke up the next morning I decided that what happened yesterday was just a moment of weakness , My weakness.
It shouldn't happen .

I know that she makes me be different and I'm afraid of this version I become ,
 when I'm with her.

This girl brings me so much peace but at the same time she ruined me .

She ruined the Draco that had been chosen , That has the Mark.

I have to stay away from her .

"Whatever I'll need to do for it , I will . "

When we were at class I saw she was looking for me with her dark beautiful brown eyes that I remember from the other night .
  
I remember how she looked at me , I remember the desire she had in her eyes .
I remember her body , That she gave me .
I remember-"

"Stop. Stop it Draco. You can't."

But I just ignored her , I knew I just had to .

After class , I went to the Slytherin common room .

I stayed there for a while talking with some friends just trying my best to keep my thoughts off this Mudblood .

But after a While , when the conversations started to be boring I decided to go get my Sketch book from my room so I can draw .

When i came into my room I saw Tessa there.

"What are you doing here ? you're not allowed to come here ."

"D-Draco I .. Why are you ignoring me all day today ? "

I saw the confusion in her eyes .

"Draco , you know what you need to do . "

"Listen , What happened yesterday was a mistake, a big one and-"

"WHAT ? What do you mean by "Mistake" ?"

My heart was beating fast .

"I wish I could just pull you so close right now "

"Tessa, You have to understand . You should stay away from me . "

"No! Why would I ? What do you mean by mistake ? What happened ? "

"She's making it harder . I can't . I can't do this . "

"It was just for fun . We both were drunk and it was just a moment thing you know."

"I can't believe I said it ."

"A moment thing ?" Her eyes went dark and I saw the tears coming up .

"Hold it Draco. "

I couldn't look at her , I Hated myself so much in that moment.

All I wanted to do was run over to her , Hug her and tell her I'm not serious about it .

I wanted to kiss her and tell her that the night we spent together was one of the best nights I had in my life .
I wanted to say , How she making me feel weak and peaceful at the same time ,
How every little touch of her hand feels like healing . 

I wanted to tell her how I'm not the same Draco when I'm with her .
But all i could say is -

"You really thought I fell for you , Didn't you ? "

"I hate myself so much right now . I really fell for you."

I could see how much pain she had in her eyes as I said that .

"Draco don't say it "

"I already did Tessa. "

 "I don't believe you ! Something must have happened , that made you change your mind "

"You're doing the right thing Draco, Keep going."

"You probably just don't get it you little stupid Mudblood ! I never even had something to do with you , It was all just for fun. I was drunk, we made a mistake just forget about it!"

She started to cry and all I wanted was her to hate me . She needs to hate me .

  "Do it Draco. The final saying"

"Of course , as always - All you know to do is to cry . I feel sorry for you- "

 "No! No Draco ! I feel sorry for you ! You know why ? Because all you know is just how to be rude, all you know is how to hurt people !
All you FUCKING know is how to destroy people! and you do it because you hurt yourself! because you are afraid ! "

  "She's right , keep going Tessa"

I didn't say anything because I knew it would make her go even more mad .

-"CAN YOU AT LEAST ANSWER ?"

"I already said what I had to "

"And that's all ?"

I saw the hope in her eyes that had already been red because of her crying .

 "Yes . "

"Come on Tessa say it."

-"I HATE YOU DRACO! I HATE YOU SO MUCH! "

"Here. She did."

"IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT ? YOU WANT ME TO DISAPPEAR FROM YOUR LIFE ? "

I felt my heart breaking and my body was filled with chills .

I couldn't say it. I didn't want to.

 -"DRACO ANSWER ME ! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT ?"

"Do it. End with it . "

"Yes."

She didn't say a word. 
She just Quietly left my room , leaving me alone to hate myself for losing the only thing I loved for a long time .

"You did the right thing and you know it , Slytherin and Gryffindor is not a good idea.

You have a mission Draco.

You are the chosen one."

I really tried to convince myself but I felt kind of empty , I felt broken .
 I felt like I just lost something that was so important , it hurts.
I took my notebook where I loved to draw ,and went to the West Tower hoping I could just clear my thoughts and get back to myself .