(Complete) What Could Have Been (Saiouma/Oumasai)

Boyfriend?

Chapter 7: boyfriend?

Kokichi's POV

I woke up to see a phone screen in front of me and a hand scrolling through Twitter. A second hand was still wrapped around my waist. I didn't move at first, afraid of having to talk to him again. If it was anyone else I'd be fine but no... I knew it was Shuichi. He had chipped black nail polish on his fingers and a ton of cracks on his phone screen. He was looking at tweets about danganronpa, I guess he was also curious to see what people thought about it all. I started to think about my breathing and it started to get more irregular. Soon enough he realized that I was awake and looked down to me as he turned his phone off. What would his parents think if they walked in on this? Or worse his sister! He sat up and I assumed he expected me to do the same. I didn't want to look at him but I knew I had to. I guess my plan of ignoring my feeling until it was painfully obvious worked out, unfortunately that became obvious before I was ready to let him know.

"Good morning Kokichi." I stayed silent and looked down and my twiddling thumbs. Bad idea. Shuichi lightly touched my chin and lifted my head up to face him.
"How are you feeling?" He asked sweetly.
"I'm... ok."
"Can I make you feel better than ok?"
"What's your intention here Shuichi?"
"What do you mean?"
"What's your game? What are you trying to accomplish?"
"I want you to feel better than just ok?" He replied with a questioning tone.
"No I mean overall. What was the point of saying what you said last night?"
"What I said last night?"
"D-do you not remember? Are you- you're messing with me right?" Did he forget what he said? Was all of it not true?
"Don't worry I'm only messing with you."
"You! Oh you're gonna get it- mmm. You're lucky I can't hurt you!"
"I'm lucky just being able to be here with you." God why isn't he like that! Why is he being so nice- I'm not used to this what's he trying to do to me?!
"S-stop it."
"The point was to let you know I like you like you, Kokichi."
"You're not supposed to like me like me!"
"Wha-why?"
"Because I like you like you!" I didn't think about what I said before I said it and I ended up covering my mouth trying to shut myself up.
"So is that a yes?"
"I- I don't know! Gah why do you have to be so complicated!"
"Complicated?" He laughed, "I'll restate it more simply then. Would you like to be my boyfriend?"
"No! I mean... yes! But no!"
"Um? Could you elaborate on that?" He laughed nervously.
"Yes, I'd love to be your boyfriend... but I can't."
"O-oh, ok, why?" He asked sadly.
"Wha-why do I have to tell you!?"
"Well I mean I think it would be nice to know why you turned me down."
"Well b-because... I..."
"Do you have a reason?"
"Wh- of course I have a reason! I- I, umm... I guess I don't." I sighed with defeat.
"I'm not going to force you to say yes by any means I was just curious why you can't."
"I- I have a problem with the idea of people knowing I'm, you know... gay."
"We don't have to tell anyone if you're uncomfortable but still want to try it."
"You- you'd do that? But why me?"
"Of course I'd do that for you, I like you."
"Why me though? I'm not worth your attention."
"I mean, everyone is hard on themselves, I think you're cute and sweet. You just need the right person to show you the love you deserve."
"Deserve? Ha. Ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. I don't deserve anything like that! All I do is cause problems!" I couldn't believe he could just say such a blatant lie to me, right to my face! As if I wouldn't be able to tell!

"Hey don't say that! No one deserves anything bad in their lives! I think you deserve the world! I think it's rude to invalidate my opinion."
"Well you're invalidating mine."
"Well yours is wrong!" He looked me seriously and quoted himself, "no, that's wrong!" We both started laughing. It's nice talking to him even if we were technically arguing.
"You know what!" I yelled after I was done laughing.
"What!" He yelled back.
"Fine!"
"Really?"
"Y-yeah... really... I'll be your boyfriend. ONLY, if we don't have to tell anyone until I'm ready."

Shuichi immediately grabbed my face with his hands and pulled my into a kiss, but not before he hit his head on the ceiling. We both laughed into the kiss. I cupped his cheeks with my hands as well. I had never kissed someone before, let alone a boy. This would be even more awkward for his sister or parents to walk in on than earlier.