(Complete) What Could Have Been (Saiouma/Oumasai)

How Things Are Going

Chapter 8: how things are going

Kokichi's POV
I think Kitty and Kyoya are onto us, us being Shuichi and me. They keep watching us intensely. Shuichi's parents liked to leave on weekend trips fairly often though so we get left home alone a lot. His parents always say no inviting anyone over but Kyoya comes over every weekend they leave anyways. I'm not sure if Shuichi's parents know and trust them enough or are genuinely just clueless. Luckily for Shuichi and me, we didn't need to invite anyone over since we had each other.

It's been around 3 months since Shuichi and I started dating now and I've learned some things about him. He loves cuddling, like, any chance we get I'm in his arms. That includes every. Single. Night. I don't mind it, in fact I think it's super cute.

Shuichi also gets super defensive with his clothes and likes to not let me steal them. However, if I can get past him and steal some without him noticing he won't take it away because he says it's adorable. He likes to stay up late watching crime dramas, he really likes buzzfeed unsolved.

Shuichi is also super patient with me, every weekend at least once you can hear a bed creaking from the basement where Kitty and Kyoya are but he hasn't once pressured me into anything like that. I know I'll give into that eventually though, he seems like he really wants it.

I haven't talked to Kirumi or Gonta in a while. Part of me wants to tell Gonta I'm dating Shuichi now but I'm afraid he would accidentally tell someone. I love Gonta but he can be very dumb sometimes. Kirumi has been reaching out to me but lately I've had a problem with my lying and I'm afraid I won't be able to lie well if she asks how my life has been going. I like staying with Shuichi, a lot, but I can't tell Kirumi why. I don't want her to know... I don't want anyone to know. It's not like I'm ashamed of Shuichi, I'm ashamed of myself. I consider it a huge flex to be able to say I'm dating Shuichi Saihara. I just don't want anyone to hurt me the was my parents did for just holding hands with another boy.

My dad would probably kill me if he could see me now. Truth is I have no idea where my dad is, he left my family when I was 12. He just up and left one day, no trace left behind. He took all our money and fled. My mom says it's because he felt bad for "doing what he had to in order to put me in my place" even though no one deserves the kind of treatment I got, no matter what. I realized I was gay fairly recently, well pan. I like anything, no matter what. I've been attracted to girls before and obviously I'm attracted to men.

My sister always told me it was ok to be gay if that's "the way you swing". I always appreciated her saying that even if it directly went against what our parents said. My sister was so cool! I hate saying was, I still find it hard to believe she's really dead. She wasn't supposed to die, everyone's supposed to make it out alive. That's the whole reason a game like danganronpa is even allowed. We were told our season of danganronpa would be the last due to my sister death.

I was surprised they even let us have a season since I could've died too but since everyone's contracts were already signed they let us continue. Makoto said that they were thinking of making a danganronpa season 53 reality show, like a Keeping up with the Kardashians kinda show. Luckily he needs all of us to agree for that to ever happen... I hope.