Nicky Nichols one shots

another Nicky solo s7

||. Just a bit of writing i did the other night. Phones about to die, ill do the starters i owe when its charged.
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Nicky sat there in front of Lorna, not knowing what to do or what to say.. just feeling like a complete failure to the woman who she loves so much. Lorna was unmoving, she looked like she was stuck in time, she could barely talk, move.. Nicky had never seen her this bad. But what could she expect, she knows after talking to Vinny and finding out the truth of what Lornas been through, losing the baby, is going to be a lot harder for the girl to accept and grieve through since its really reality and not one of her coping mechanism fantasies. Its hard for anyone to deal with the loss of a baby, let alone having to deal go through it in the mind of Lornas while stuck inside prison.

She then thought about Shani, it had been a day since Flaca gave her that letter that honestly broke her heart. In such a short time, Nicky had really got close to Shani.. she thought Lorna was okay, she really did, Lorna had her baby and her husband, Lorna didnt need Nicky anymore as much as that hurt Nicky to accept, she had to accept it so she did, she had to let Lorna be happy, she couldnt stand in the way because she loves the woman. Lornas dream of a husband and Baby was real, it wasnt a fantasy so Nicky tried to just keep them as just friends, like they are most of the time, because no matter what she would ALWAYS be there for Lorna, until she realised it was too late, she didnt see past the lines of false words in time and by the time she did realise something was very wrong, Lorna had already lost it. She was already gone.

That chat with Red really made some things clear to Nicky, it really hit home. Admitting there could have been someone else, realizing that she really had hit that brick wall with Lorna and as much as she desperately wants to help her psychotic cherub of a  bestfriend, she doesn't have the power to get her the help she really needs in here and that she had to let Lorna go so Lorna will be safer, she couldnt be selfish anymore and continue trying to keep Lorna around so she can help the girl when she really knows that the help Lorna needs is beyond her and Nicky isnt enough. The last thing was that Red was really  starting to lose her mind, its not just something the doctor told them, Nicky could see it in Reds fierce Russian eyes, especially when her mother figure, Red, mentioned her other girls from the last prison.