A Wolf's Tale

23

"The doctor said Kayden and I can come home today, do you mind picking me up?" Kendall asks on the other end.

"Of course, give me ten to get myself ready and make sure the pack is okay."

I hang up and lace my tennis shoes. Sierra walks in and weakly smiles.

"Hey baby, how are you feeling?" I ask, eyeing her fresh scab tracing from ear to ear.

"My body still aches but I'll be okay." She replies, her voice raspy.

She sits on the edge of the bed and rubs my arm. I quickly get up and look her up and down,

"I have to pick up Kendall and Kayden, I'll be back later."

I kiss her pale forehead and race down the stairs. I can't sit next to her knowing that she has to blame me for this. I wasn't here and I was with Kendall and I chose Kendall over her. I know she wants to suppress all of those thoughts because I'm a dad now and I have to have some involvement with Kendall now, but I can see it in her eyes. The slight jealousy with a dash of guilt, I can't say I blame her. I'd be the same way if the role was reversed.

The house has been quiet since the incident. We haven't spoken more than a handful of words to each other since that day. It's been exactly four days, six hours, eighteen minutes, and... twenty-two seconds.

We didn't even try to have a Thanksgiving dinner like we usually do. It wouldn't be the same, not only because of Kooper and Sabrina's deaths, but Kyle and Kylie weren't here and nothing has been the same since that day. I wouldn't have been able to keep my composure at the dinner table anyway. Hell, I probably wouldn't have even sat at the dinner table.

We did get the house cleaned up but that too was done in silence. I can't look half of them in the eyes. The tinge of sympathy in their eyes is enough to gag me. I don't need sympathy, I need the pack together, Kooper and Sabrina shouldn't have died.

It's my fault- I didn't come back sooner, knowing that Ashley might hurt them because of me. It's my fault Sabrina died, I should've followed Ashley upstairs... I would've at least helped Sabrina and then ran outside to help the others.

It's my fault Kooper died, if I had just gotten here twenty minutes sooner, I would've been able to resuscitate him or use my new Alpha powers. Their glossy eyes from that day still haunt me, they were lucky to be brought back. I won't take credit- Kooper and Sabrina died.

Of course I can't tell anyone about this. They know I blame myself, they know, and they don't say anything because they understand the choice I made. They said they could handle it and they couldn't but they tried, it wasn't for lack of trying, but I left them here while I was watching a miracle take place before my eyes.

The vacancy in our eyes says enough. No one has cracked a joke, no one has smiled or asked if we are okay. We just sit here in silence. A handful of words exchanged if necessary but nothing past that. We haven't all sat in the same room since that day either. 

Sierra has gone back to her room since her night terrors returned as have mine. Neither one of us can sleep soundly and if we were to sleep in the same room we would wake each other up panicked. I'm sure the rest of the pack can relate, that's probably why the incline of dark circles under our eyes and the vacant stares to each other. I can hardly even look Sierra in the eyes without flashbacks of that night occurring.

The blood was everywhere... and I truly mean everywhere. The broken dishes all over the dining room, claw marks on the kitchen floor, broken liquor bottles in the living room, cracks in the wall from being thrown across the room, blood stained on the marble floor and stairs by the foyer. Blood droplets from a bloody nose. Blood smeared down the staircase railing. Blood ominously dripped down two steps following Sabrina's body. Blood drops and smears across the floor from when I ran in to grab towels. A bloody handprint when I tried to get up to run outside. Blood and shell casings in the foyer where I shot at Ashley and she flicked the bullets into my shoulder.