𝐂𝐫𝐲𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲 ✦ 𝐓𝐲𝐥𝐞𝐫

- 𝗆𝗋𝗌. 𝗉𝗈𝗍𝖺𝗍𝗈 𝗁𝖾𝖺𝖽 -

" don't be dramatic, it's only some plastic. no one will love you if you're unattractive! "

[ Y/n ]

I stood in the bathroom, looking at my body. I had scars, bruises, and cuts all over me. I looked disgusting. I began to break down. Why me? I was so beautiful. My face hadn't really been effected, except for the last of the bruises that were healing, which I was grateful for. I covered my mouth as I continued to cry.

How could he still want me? How could he still kiss me? How could he still fuck me? How could he still love me?

How could Tyler stand it all? All the marks, all the mental illnesses, all the trauma.

Our wedding was coming up and he was excited. How could he be when I'm so disgusting and problematic?

I sighed, wiping my eyes. I walked back into the room, getting back into bed with Tyler again. He hummed and kissed my forehead lightly before dozing off.

. . .

Tyler had reluctantly left for work. I told him I'd text him every half hour and I'd keep every door and window locked. I cuddled Pumpkin while we watched Marrying Millionaires. I laughed as I watched the drama of the mother asking about kids. "Pumpkin I think she's too old fo him, what d'you think?"

Pumpkin whined and I nodded. "Right?"

It cut to commercial and I was skipping through them when a certain one caught my eye. Cosmetic surgery... I'm sure we could afford it but Tyler would never in a million years want me to change myself with something like that. "What if I got it anyways... How mad would he be?" I whispered.

. . .

Tyler was asleep and I was looking through our area's plastic surgeons. I found that the closest one was half an hour away. Too far for me to drive alone. I can't stand driving. I groaned and Tyler hummed. I looked at him and he opened his eyes. I shut my computer and placed it on the floor. "What're you doing?" He asked. "Looking at something." I replied.

"Porn?"

I scoffed, and he giggled. "I just think it's funny how much you are weirded out by it." I laid down and stared at the ceiling, which looked like a dark abyss. "I'm not... Weirded out. I just think they're a little too dramatic. Like, if his dick isn't even that long why're they screaming like that? I also get second-hand embarrassment."

Tyler laughed again and nuzzled his nose into my neck. "What was ittttt?" He urged. "A wedding present so stop asking." I lied.

He smiled and kissed my neck, leaving a large wet spot I wasn't avidly trying to wipe off like I used to. He was a sloppy kisser and honestly, its grown on me and I think it's attractive.

"Okay, goodnight my love." He mumbled.

"Goodnight Ty Ty."

"Before I go to sleep, you'll wake me up tonight if you have nightmares right? I heard you crying in the bathroom last night but when I was going to check on you, you came out and I knew you'd be embarrassed so I pretended to be asleep..."

"Uh, yeah I'll get you up babe. Sorry about last night, you're right... I'm ashamed." I whispered the last part, not referring to my nightmares anymore.

"Okay, goodnight lovely." Tyler ended the conversation with a kiss and fell back asleep.

. . .

For the next week, I would continue to go back to the plastic surgery site. I would continue to hate my body. And I would continue to lie.

I feel horrible about it but I feel worse about my appearance.

Tyler asked to borrow my computer so I gave it to him without thinking. "Y/n..." I looked at him and my heart sank. "Babe." I stood up and he turned my computer. "Tyler it's just the website."

He set my computer down and walked over to me. I flinched, expecting a slap. Tyler never hit me though. He wrapped in a hug, which I gladly returned. I cried into his shirt, unable to stop myself. The tension in the room caused Pumpkin to come sit at Tyler and I's legs. I gripped his shirt, telling him about how disgusting I was now.

Tyler pulled away and smiled at me, wiping my tears off my cheeks.

"My love, you're the most beautiful woman in the world. I wouldn't change a single thing about you. Except how you can sleep with socks on, I'd change that."

We both laughed for a moment. He hugged me and kissed my head. "I know its's hard. I know I'll never in my life understand how much pain that experience caused you. I know you're hurt and scared. I'm sorry I let something like that happen to you. It will never happen again. No one will ever hurt you again. And your appearance, baby... You are so beautiful, in every single way. I love your body. Nothing could change that. A few scars never stopped you from riding m-"

"Okay, okay. It was a lovely speech until I was riding you." I laughed. He chuckled to and leaned his forehead against mine. "I promise you, you're the most beautiful girl in the universe. On the outside and on the inside."