Before We Fell Apart [Before Trilogy #2]

08

"You can't hide this from him forever, Jill." 

I looked up from my book, frowning slightly. "What do you mean?"

"The scholarship. You haven't told Marcus yet. Tama ba ako?" tinaasan niya ako ng kilay. 

Binalik ko ang tingin ko sa libro para maiwasan ang kanyang mata. "He doesn't need to know." 

"You know he'll find out eventually, right? Sa dami ng tsismoso at tsismosa sa lugar na 'to, Jill, hindi ako magugulat kung ngayon pa lang nakaabot na sa kanya ang balita." 

I sighed. "What's the point of telling him, Anika? It's already done. Wala na."

"Because he's partly responsible for you losing your scholarship?"

"Anika!" 

"Ano? I'm just saying," she shrugged, crossing her arms to her chest. "Kaibigan ko rin si Marc, pero kailangan natin harapin 'yung totoo. Ever since he came, your attention has been divided. It's not like it's a bad thing...but I don't know. You be the judge." 

Aaminin ko naman na pumasok rin ang bagay na 'yan sa isip ko. Dati kasi puro aral lang ang inaatupag ko. Ngayon na pumasok si Marcus sa eksena, nahati ang oras ko. Pero hindi. Wala siyang kasalanan sa nangyari. 

"He did nothing wrong, Anika. If there's anyone to blame for losing my scholarship, that's me. Ako ang nagpabaya, kaya ako ang may kasalanan." 

"Nag-aalala lang naman ako para sa'yo, Jill. Alam ko kung gaano kahalaga sa'yo maging scholar. Masisisi mo ba ako, e best friend kita?" tanong niya. 

I gave her a small smile. "Alam ko, Niks." 

"But seriously, you need to tell him. He'll be back in 3 days," she said. "Don't wait for him to hear it from someone else." 

My lips pursed as I was deep in thought. I been putting off telling him the truth in fears of his reaction. I was already so disappointed in myself and I didn't need him to be disappointed in me too. It would hurt too much. 

Besides, I didn't want to talk to him for as long as my brain was still unclear. I was still recognizing why I let myself fail and where it went wrong. Maybe burnout? Maybe I didn't study enough? Or maybe...maybe he was the reason after all. 

My phone lit up on the table. It was Marcus. "Sagutin mo 'yung tawag." 

"Anong sasabihin ko? Baka alam na niya," nag-aalalang tumingin ako kay Anika. 

Inirapan niya ako. "Buong araw mo na iniiwasan mga tawag niya, girl. Kaunti nalang babalik siya ngayon para lang makausap ka." 

Dahan-dahan kong kinuha ang phone at sinagot ang tawag. Hinintay ko siya magsalita.

"Uy, buti sumagot ka na. Akala ko galit ka sa'kin," mahinang tumawa si Marcus sa kabilang linya. "Busy ka ba?"

"Ah, medyo," I lied. 

"Malapit na magsimula 'yung ceremony. Tumawag lang ako dahil miss kita." 

Natagalan pa akong sumagot. "Okay." 

Tumahimik siya ng sandali bago nagsalita muli. "Ayos ka lang ba, mahal?" 

"Oo naman," I lied again. "Ba't naman hindi?"

"Hmm. Sure ah?" bago pa ako makasagot, narinig kong may tumawag sa pangalan niya. "Kailangan ko na ata umalis, mahal." 

"Sige. Congrats by the way." 

"Huwag ka masyadong magbabad sa pag-aaral ah. Mamaya makalimutan mo nanaman kumain," pinaalala niya. "Sunduin ba kita mamaya?"

"No need." I answered immediately. I wasn't ready to face him yet.