Goodbye lullaby

Chapter 2

Hugging myself as i drown in tears, trying to suppress the painful muffled moans. I don't know how long i was crying my heart out while curled up like a ball on my bed. When i suddenly heard Jisoo softly knocking on my door.

"Jen... are you awake?"

I tried to stay quiet as possible, I don't think i could handle a heart to heart talk right now. Its just so hard to admit it to myself that I lost the person who I valued the most in my life, my sunshine.

"Please open the door.. I'm worried about you.. we .. all are.. you left without even a word and you're not answering your phone.. Jen..."

I covered my head with a pillow blocking Jisoo's concerned voice that made my heart flinch in pain.

I'm so sorry Chu.. I'm sorry.. I need to deal with this on my own..

I cried for I don't know how long. I just let the pain succumbed me until i felt numb.

The sound of my alarm woke me up in my slumber.

Shit... I hastily get out of bed as I saw the time on my phone. Running towards my bathroom, I almost shout in fear looking at my hideous reflection. Damn it.. I don't have enough time to look human.. we were supposed to meet at the studio by 7am and its already 7:30.. i received missed calls coming from Jisoo and even Rosé..our manager also called and left some thread messages.  I'm dead meat that's for sure..

"yaahhh!!!! Ruby Jane !!! Are you there?!? I have the master key on my hands and I'm not afraid to use it!!!" I was startled to hear our manager's hysterical voice just outside my door.

Fuck... i screwed up..

"I'll be out in 5!" I shouted back as I sprinted and hastily get ready for the day.

"What the hell happened to you?!" He shouted back.

Rolling my eyes as I put on some light make up and let my wet hair dry naturally. Grabbing my black shades and bag, i walked out of the room.

"My god you look shit." He blurted out without hesitation though concern was evident on his face.

"Why thank you for stating the obvious." I responded with sarcasm. Walking pass him.

"Jen.. please..talk to me. You are usually not like this.." I felt him following my steps as we step out of the apartment. Immediately, i covered my eyes with the dark sunglasses.

"You knew already what's going on and yet you ask me that damn question.." Half-whispered I answered. He was now beside me matching my strides.

Heavily sighed."she did the right thing... even if it hurts.. and you should learn to accept that..you and her would never have that happy ending you longed for.. " his words hit me pretty hard. Stabbing my heart repeatedly to the truth that I can't seem to face. "Not until you both gave up your first love... and that is your career.."

"I would do anything for her.." I answered him defeatedly holding back those tears again.

"And obviously she doesn't want you too. She already chosen her career Jen.. so don't ruin yours." With those last words he tap my shoulders as he guided me inside the car.

Leaning my forehead on the cold window, trying to stop my heart from bleeding. Cause the truth hurts. And i have to accept it once and for all.

Maybe in another life .. i could hold you forever... maybe in another life.. I'll get my happy ending.. maybe in another life.. you'll love me just the way i loved you..

Maybe in another life..

I took a deep breath and look up the clear blue sky. 

He's right.. its time to let go..