Good Girls Have Secrets

Chapter 5

Will's deep familiar voice came through the phone. "My mother tells me you moved to Iowa." Car horns blare in the background, letting me know he's in traffic, in contrast to  the empty highway I'm on.

"Yes. At the end of Christmas break." Keeping my tone even, as I think about what I want to tell him. He tends to get more information out of me than I want to share.

"Do you think you should've told me before moving halfway across the country?" He sounds strange, almost hurt. Part of me is glad.

"You haven't called me in months." Gathering my courage, I add, "I saw the picture of you and Sophie at your work party."

Silence.

"You said some pretty harsh things to me the last time we talked. I thought you were done." His voice is quieter than normal.

"I am. I'm tired of your games." My heart can't take any more. Every time I think we've had a breakthrough or that he's falling in love with me, I find out that he spent time with another girl.

"And you think you don't play games with me? You were hanging all over Xavier at the bonfire at the beach." Chills go down my spine, as he talks about the night of the bonfire. I can't help but wonder what he saw.

"You're hallucinating. I wasn't hanging all over Xavier. Allie would've come after me for hanging on her boyfriend." I didn't know Will spotted me with Xavier.

"Allie wasn't there, remember. She was off on one of her shopping trips to New York. You were definitely all over him."

"Jealous?" I laugh. "I went home with you that night, if you remember. So just stop." Taking a breath, I decide to be honest. "Will. I'm tired of our back and forth. I've wasted over two years." My throat tightens. Am I ready to say goodbye to him forever? No more phone calls or texts. Tears burn my eyes.

His tone softens, "So you move halfway across the country to get away from me?"

"It's not just you. It's everything. I need space to think. To figure things out. I'm tired of people trying to run my life." I begin to shake. "I'm tired of the games, the lies...actually I'm tired of everything."

I lose it, when he says, "I miss you. I can hardly function knowing you're so far away." Wiping my eyes with my sweatshirt sleeve, I feel homesick. Maybe I should go home. Will and I could work things out. I could get back to my life. But it's not that simple.

He interrupts my thoughts, "Do you miss me?"

"Yes." I whisper. I don't miss our fights, but I miss his arms wrapped around me, while he whispers, he loves me. But the weekend always ends, leaving me in love and miserable, as he takes other girls out to dinner, while I'm stuck at school.

"Will. This won't work. You only love me when it works for you. I hate worrying about what'll happen when I'm not around." It makes my skin crawl thinking about Sophie hanging all over him at the fundraiser. She knows how I feel about him, yet she can't help but chase after him. He loves the tug-of-war.

I think about asking him to Facetime, so I can see his expression, but I realize it doesn't matter.

He asks, "What are you doing?"

Do I want to tell him? Why not. "I'm heading to a Bible Study."

He scoffs, "Why?"

Feeling like I need to defend myself, I snap. "That's rude."

"There's a guy. The one who answered your phone yesterday. You don't believe in that stuff, so there's something in it for you."

He knows me well. "What if there is?" Scanning the parking lot, I find an open spot. Throwing my car in park, I have twenty minutes before it starts.