her fourth

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"Do you not realize why I haven't streamed on my own channel in over a month? Why I haven't done anything with any of our mutual friends? Because I know something will happen that will remind you of me or you'll come up. It's how it works. I can't talk to Travis because it'll remind me of you.

"It's painful. These voicemails may have been a bad idea. Everything I've been doing has been a bad idea. I've done a lot of bad things, Coop, but I genuinely think the worst one was that conversation. What's wrong with needing each other? It wasn't in an unhealthy way. It really wasn't.

"I don't know. Fuck. I don't know. I just don't. I don't understand."

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