Lilith Harlow

Chemistry

Ashlee's pov

Why do I always feel like I'm running? Ever since I left Oklahoma that's all I've done. I don't know, I guess last night really did a number on me, and Jon didn't help matters tonight. I know I shouldn't have done that but what else was I supposed to do. Fuck. What have I gotten myself into?

I make my way to the locker room as fast as I can in hopes of avoiding Jon. If I'm being honest I didn't even look to see who caught us but judging by his reaction, it couldn't have been anyone good. Trying to occupy myself, I grab my earbuds and slump onto the couch. For some odd reason, I'm really feeling NF today, but that's not a bad thing.

I let out a sigh as 'Why' comes on and I start to sing it word for word.

"Nothin' to me's ever good enough
I could be workin' for twenty-four hours a day and think I never did enough
My life is a movie but there ain't no tellin' what you're gonna see in my cinema (no)
I wanna be great but I get it in the way of myself
And I think about everything that I could never be
Why do I do it though? Ay, yeah
Why you always lookin' aggravated?
Not a choice, you know I had to make it
When they talk about the greatest, they gon' probably never put us in the conversation
Like somethin' then I gotta take it
Write somethin' then I might erase it
I love it, then I really hate it
What's the problem, Ashlee? I don't know!
I know I like to preach to always be yourself (yeah)
But my emotions make me feel like I am someone else
Me and pride had made a pact that we don't need no help
Which feels like I'm at war inside myself but I forgot the shells
I hold my issues up for all to see, like show and tell
A lot of people know me, but not a lot know me well
Hold my issues up for all to see, like show and tell
A lot of people know me, but they don't know me well"

I can't help it that song hits hard for me. I close my eyes and try to calm my breathing as much as I can before I head back to the hotel. I was so caught up in the music that I didn't notice that Britt had walked in. "Damn girl. I was wondering how you got so good on the mic." I jump, again not realizing she was there.

"Shit Britt you scared me." I make a show of clutching my chest like I had a heart attack. She lets out a giggle and flops down on the couch next to me. "You were really into that song weren't you?" I nod my head pausing my music and locking my phone. I don't really feel like getting into my personal problems with someone I don't know all that well yet.

"Um, yeah that song hits hard and I guess I needed it after I fucked up tonight in the ring." I can see the look of confusion on her face as I say this. I don't know why anything should have surprised her, it's my first promo I was bound to screw up.

"What do you mean you messed up? I watched the whole thing and you did incredibe." I finally make a point to move on the couch so that I'm facing her. I can feel my eyebrows crease at her question. "When I hit Jon with that rolling cutter, I was supposed to have gone backstage. I let my feeling of something that had happened prior to the show get in the way and interfere with my character. Not to mention I brought up something that happened off-camera." The fact that she didn't know I messed up calms my nerves just a little but I still feel sick. I look away from her.

"Okay, I need you to listen to me. Just because you did something that wasn't scripted, isn't the end of the world. You made it work and honestly, you did an amazing job. You and Jon had great in-ring chemistry and I think in the long run it will work out in both your favor." If only she knew how much chemistry we actually had.

I hear Britt's phone go off and the look on her face tells me that she has to leave. It's a look of pity that screams 'I'm sorry'. "It's fine Britt if you need to go then go. I'll be okay." She nods and stands heading for the door. I figure that I should probably head back to the hotel so I can start packing for the next town, not that I know where that is.

Sighing I throw my bag over my shoulder and start the walk to my car. Stepping out of the building I dig around for the pack of cigarettes and lighter that I know I have somewhere. Finding them at the bottom I pull one out and strike my lighter.

"Take it from a smoker when I say it gets harder to hit moves the more you smoke." I open my eyes to see Jon stepping away from his truck coming toward me. Just who I wanted to see right now. I think I would rather see Jake or Riley at this moment. "That being said can I get one. I smoked my last one before the show." I yet again grab my pack and toss it to him.

He takes a long drag before looking at me. "It was Jake and Renee. Who walked in I mean." I've tried my hardest not to look at him but as he says this I can't help it. I've heard storied about Renee but I thought that's all they were. I guess I was wrong.

"What did they want?" I don't really want to know that answer but I had to say something. I don't think he wants to tell me but I also think he knows he has to. He tenses before he answers this. "I don't think it had anything to do with us. When I got a look at Renee her hair was messed up and Jake had lipstick on his cheek." I don't know why that thought is so unsettling about that but it causes me to cringe.

"I know, but you asked so I answered. We need to talk about what happened tonight and I don't mean in the ring." I nod knowing he's right but I don't want to be hurt again. He lets out a sigh and turns to fully face me. Now being face to face I can feel the air tense between us.

"No we don't Jon we both know what we want and I can tell from last night that you don't want the same. So just spare me the gr-" Before I have time to finish what I was saying he grabs my cheek pulling me into him. I can feel the passion in his kiss. The intensity behind it makes me melt and kiss back with just as much power.

I feel him push my body toward the car, his free hand acts as a cage trapping my body with his. Dragging my hand up to his chest I lock my arms behind his neck wanting to be closer if that's even possible. I can feel his tongue against my lip wanting me to let him in. I happily comply.

We stand there for what feels like an eternity and I love every second of it. Breaking apart I lean my head against his shoulder, embarrassed by the fact that I was about to walk away from him.
"Still think we don't need to talk?" I giggle as he runs his hands up and down my sides.

"We defiantly do now but I think it can wait." Now it's his turn to chuckle. Jon places a hand on the small of my back before leading me to his truck. "Wait Jon, where are we going?" He doesn't answer, smirking he unlocks the truck and tells me to get in. "What about my car?" He turns in his seat and looks at me. "Ashlee Copeland, will you just trust me. We'll come back and get it later. Have some fun for once." I nod as he puts the truck in gear.

Whatever he has in mind, I feel like it will only make tonight one of the best nights of my life.

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Hey guys! Sorry this one took a little longer than the last but it's up. I really hope y'all like it honestly I cannot thank all of y'all enough. Also if anyone has any ideas feel free to let me know I'll try and make it fit as best I can.
                                                                     With love, Ash 🖤