Who am I without you?

Far North

"It's three in the morning Kya..." The water bender sat up and rubbed her eyes, squinting the dark form that had fallen in through the bedroom window. "And why in the world did you come through the window again. I told you the front door works just fine."

Kya shrugged. "I was trying not to wake you up. The door is too squeaky."

"So instead you decided that climbing through the window in the middle of a blizzard was a better idea...?"

"It does seem that way, yes," Kya replied sarcastically. She pulled herself to her feet, kicked her wet boots off, and started to strip out of her snow-covered clothing. "Plus, you don't usually wake up so easily." She dried herself off and got her nightclothes on across the room. "Why aren't you sleeping?"

"I don't know, maybe because my insane wife is out in a blizzard in the middle of the night and didn't bother to check-in?" She threw herself back down onto her pillow.

Kya smiled, ran across the room, and jumped onto the bed, landing on her stomach next to the water bender. "Awe! Were you WORRIED about me Ayani?" She nudged the woman next to her with the palm of her hand.

"I can't even deal with you." She said and rolled over with a huff. She hated when Kya insisted on picking on her when she was half asleep. A morning person Ayani was not, let alone woken up in the middle of the night person.

"Yeah, yeah. You love me and you know it." Kya said, throwing the fluffy comforter over her body and snuggling up to Ayani's back. "You're so warm".

"You would have been too if you weren't spending all night outside". She grumbled. "Just go to sleep, I'll argue with you when I wake up".

Kya laughed lightly. "Fine but only if you promise."

"Promise, now goodnight love." She pulled the blanket halfway over her head before falling back asleep.

Kya laid there soaking in the warmth a little longer before getting back out of bed and going to the bathroom. Making sure to be as quiet as possible. If she woke her up again it would mean war.

She turned on the light above the bathroom mirror and pulled the hair back that was covering her neck and removed the blood-soaked fabric that was covering a wide but shallow gash just below her ear lobe. It was still wet with blood and she cursed herself for being so careless out in the storm. She had been trying to bend the falling snow into a small tornado and apparently caught an icicle hanging on a nearby tree in the process. Before she knew it, it had sliced her as it flew through the air. She was just glad that this was the extent of the damage.

She ran some water into a small bowl and used it to hold over the wound with one of her hands. It wasn't as easy for her to heal herself as it was to heal others. The tinge of pain was a distraction and she would lose focus, either causing her to drop the water or stop the healing completely. A mastery of healing skills didn't matter when it came to her own body and she didn't want to ask Ayani to do it for her and cause her more worry than she already had.

She stopped to re-examine the injury. The very corners had healed shut and it was no longer bleeding so she placed a strip of bandage over it and called it a night. Healing it too quickly would leave a nasty scar and although that was the least of her worries, she hated having reminders of her stupid decisions...

Kya shook her head and looked at herself in the mirror. The last 4 years away from home hadn't changed her one bit, although it wasn't like she would look old and decrepit at 25, traveling as much as she had could have put some wear on her body.

Home.

She sent letters to her mother often. She was up to date about the whole family and Katara never missed a chance to tell her how much they wanted her to come home. Each time she would say the same thing.

I'm not finished yet.

It wasn't a lie. She still had so much more that she wanted to do with her adventures. She was just at a standstill after settling in the North...for the past year.

Each time that she failed to mention Ayani in her letters, the more guilty she felt. She didn't tell anyone back home about their engagement let alone their marriage. There was just something that kept her from saying anything about it and she didn't even know if she would ever return to Republic city to actually stay at this point, but she knew she wasn't ready to come out to her family. The only person who even had any notion of her being attracted to women was...Lin.

She shook that memory from her mind again. It was clear that it had meant nothing to Lin, so she had to disconnect the emotions tied to her. She didn't come to see her off the next day as Kya had expected, so it was clear that the feeling wasn't mutual. She had embarrassed herself and severed the bond with the person closest to her and she would forever blame herself for ruining their friendship.

A small ray of light entered the edge of the bathroom window as the sun began to rise. The storm must have stopped at some point and she realized how long she had been standing there. It must have been at least two hours...

Kya turned the light off and went back to the bedroom. Ayani was still very much asleep but had sprawled out into the middle of the bed. She slowly laid down in the small space on the edge and covered herself back up. If she didn't attempt to sleep now, it was going to be a long day.

Her wife's arm draped over her body and held onto her tightly. Even in her sleep, she was protective of Kya. It was one of the things she loved so much about her, something that she never knew she wanted or needed because she was always able to take care of herself. It was just a different feeling to have someone do it for you.

The warmth from the blanket and body heat finally pushed her eyes to close and let her sleep.