Our Little Secret ||Historical Lams Oneshots||

You Never Told Me...

I sat at my desk, my quill scratching the paper. I brushed my blond hair out of my face, sighing. It was too quiet without Alex and his energetic personality filling our tent.

It wasn't quiet for much longer, because Alex came bursting in, pushing the tent flap open with such force I could hear it swish. I turned around in my chair. His face was red, and his eyebrows knitted together in fury. "Alex, are you alright?" I asked, standing up and going over to him, bringing my hand up to caress his cheek.

He whacked it away. "You never told me you had a wife and daughter." he said angrily. I bit my lip. "How did you know?" I asked him. "I haven't received any letters from Martha in ages."

"I found a letter addressed to you lying open on my desk."

"Have you been reading my letters?" I was a bit upset now.

"No! But did you expect me to not notice it? It was on my desk," he said, taking a piece of paper out of his pocket. "Here." Alex handed me the letter with a frown. I unfolded it and scanned over it quickly.

(note: I am making this up as I go)
Dearest Brother,
I do hope that you are faring well in the war. Mother and Father send their love. On Mother's condition; she is getting better, although we fear she will soon retreat back into the fever. How we all wish you were here with us!
Martha and your daughter are doing fine, although your wife wishes for you to write more. Young Frances is wonderful; Martha hopes that you will soon return to meet her.
We can only pray that you come home safely and swiftly, and that our country will come out a free one!
Your loving sister,
Martha Laurens

I re-folded the letter and stuck it in my breast pocket. "I had wished to tell you, Alexander," I said. "I did not expect you to find out this way." I went back to my desk, sitting down and burying my head in my hands.

"So you were going to use me, make me love you, make me need you, only to break the news one day and just say, 'Hey, I'm married, sorry for not telling you.'?" Alex stormed over to me. "Am I just a plaything to you?"

My heart shattered. "Of course not! You are my everything!" I looked up and met his eyes. "Pity obliged me to marry Martha, I never loved her. Not the way I love you!" Alex narrowed his violet eyes at me, not believing my claims. I took a deep breath. "I was drunk one night, and I only married Martha to ensure that our child would be legitimate." I explained, hoping he would understand.

"You never even mentioned other people in your life," Alex said, glancing down. "Whereas I have told you everything about my youth. Spilled my darkest secrets to you, only to find out you've been lying to me this whole time," He was infuriated at this point. "If you can't trust me with your truths, did you ever truly love me?"

My mouth fell open into a silent O. "Do you take the stolen kisses and shows of affection as not loving you? The private acts of love? Alexander, I am risking my life even talking about this! The only reason I never told you about my wife and child is because I couldn't bear not having you in my life. I knew that if I told you then you would leave me, saying I was being unfaithful," I felt tears prick the corner of my eyes as I argued with him. I had stood up at this point. "Was that not enough to show that I love you? Is this enough?"

In a sudden decision, I push Alex onto our bed, where so much love was made, connecting our lips. The smaller man squirms underneath me as I move my mouth down, leaving kisses along his jawline. I can tell he's suppressing moans of pleasure, because this always gets to him. He lets a small one escape, and I grin in satisfaction, unbuttoning his shirt and moving my lips against his chest. "J-John~" he sputtered. I move my face up his neck, leaving butterfly kisses up and down it. He moans softly once more and I lift my face so our eyes meet.

"Was that loving enough for you?" I ask. He nods swiftly. "Good." I make a move to get up before Alex pulls me down again, looping his arms around my neck. "I love you," he whispers in my ear. "And I'm so sorry for doubting you." I touch our foreheads together, a spring of his ginger hair entwining with a strand of my blond. "All is forgiven," I told him. "And do you know what?"

"What?"

I smirk. "You never told me just how much you love me."